The never-let-them-see-you-sweat PR mavens for Garment Guard sent us packets of their "Underarm Shields" to test.

I don't have a sweating issue. I can go days with-out deodorant. To be fair, I'm hardly alive. I probably don't suffer from sweating as I also do not suffer from a heartbeat. When I go to have my pulse taken (before my Botox shots) the nurse always looks at me weird because she can't find my pulse. After the third try she found some life and all is good. I'm not active or athletic, "Breaking a sweat" sounds painful to me. I don't like to break anything. This product meant nothing to me when it arrived.

However, some of the MMT's shouted out in joy (like we had a Chanel shipment or something) over this underarm shield. Apparently these women have pulses and sweat.

One of our anonymous Meg's Make-Up Official Testers (Kate) told us a sweet story on how she got drunk and rocked out the karaoke mic (oh dear). She was telling us, how she was so rockin'. She was living the life. She got back her photos and had huge armpit stains under her groovin' arm and the mic. She was mortified.

This is not an isolated story. Another MMT that shall remain anonymous (BeBe) is a fierce sweater. These things retail for like, $2 bucks, when they came in I had to beat Bebe to only take 2 pair.

Garment Guard claims "Garment Guard is a disposable, self-adhesive, skin-tone-colored, cotton disc that adheres to the inside of clothing".

Ladies please post if this sweat absorber really builds confidence or if our anonymous testers (Kate & Bebe) should just stay in the a/c?

Buy It Now!


www.Garmentguard.com

The PR extraordinaire’s from Seche Vite send us their most fabulous base coat! I'm creative and all that jazz but there is no way I can make a base coat sound interesting. It either works or it doesn't. Move on.

I get my talons polished at Lisa Nail on La Cienega. It's either Beverly Hills or L.A. I'm not sure, it's on that border area. It's not fancy. However, when I go, I always see someone famous. I've sat beside Britney Spears (pre-crazy baby-momma) and all the young starlet’s and a bunch of the golden oldies in there. Placed smack next to a blockbuster video and a boba juice shop it does not cry out RODEO DRIVE, but hey, they get the job done and fast.

So, I'm in there sitting next to Jewel (poet, songstress, whatever), and next to her this loud, dark-haired lady that definitely chose not to dress to impress anyone that day.
I, unfortunately, am in-between Jewel and the loud brunette. The loud brunette keeps insisting on having a conversation with Jewel right over me like I'm not there. I wanted to move so they could sit together because her cackling is really starting to annoy me.

I love Lisa of Lisa Nail. I do. That's why I know she'll forgive me when I say her English is not the best. I mean, there's not even an "s" to make it Lisa's Nails. It's Lisa Nail, she'll do all 10 of them but no need to pluralize.

Back to my story. Lisa is filing my nails and says "that Jewel, she famous" and points to Jewel. Then (and seriously, I am reading an US Weekly with a picture of Mariah Carey in short-short jean shorts and an ill-fitting tube top). Lisa says, "Mariah Carey, stylist" and points to, what I think, is a picture of my US Weekly. I say " Oh my God, that is disgusting. She looks so low-rent. What a trashy ho. As if she has a stylist..ew.."
Lisa, as it turns out, is not pointing at my US Weekly but at the loud brunette to the left of me. Her name is Jessica Pastor. Otherwise known as Jessica Pastor celebrity stylist to the A list. Otherwise known as Mariah Carey's stylist.
If looks could kill I would be so past rigor mortis at this point. Lisa then says "no, she Mariah stylist" (thanks Lisa) and points to loud brunette

O.K. now my day at the nail salon has turned into Fear Factor. Jewel may look all delicate and boho on screen but in reality, she really looks like a snaggle-tooth ruffian that did grow up fighting black bears in Alaska and now I'm on her bad side. She lived in a van. I think that puts hair on your chest. There is nothing dainty about Jessica Pastor.
Now, I have made this huge faux pas. Do I stand behind my statements? Do I say, "umm you suck at your job"? Of course not! I had no back-up! I said, (this is so pitiful but it was the best I could come up with on the spot)
"Oh my God! Mariah Carey has a stylist? I had no idea!! She looks so approachable! So real! GREAT JOB"!!

Yes, the rest of my manicure was delivered in silence. However, I thought that was much better then some tough blond, living in a van, knocking my teeth out.

Back to the base coat, Seche Vite claims to be. "The first truly non-yellowing base coat for nail polish. After ten years of development Seche Clear was created to provide a clear base coat for nail polish that does not yellow and adheres to the natural nail. Use along with Seche Vite as the final top coat for a manicure that lasts and lasts".
Ladies please post if this base is good enough for me to avoid personal injury and just do an at home manicure!

Buy It Now!
Seche Ridge Filling Base Coat

The magnificent PR Reps for Magic Of Aloe sent us their Proto-Collagen moisturizer. It claims to be a nutritional Aloe based collagen moisturizer that will provide a flawless finish to your complexion. May be used with or without foundation.

I have been taught that you need to look for long, confusing ingredients for face creams to work. Scientific ingredient names like Alpha Hydroxy Acids, Copper Pesticides, Hyaluronic Acid and N6-furfuryladenine. Names that you're a little afraid to pronounce in company. Names that could be found in a dirty bomb. If it's strong enough to nuke L.A. it must be strong enough to blast these fine lines from my face! Nature be damned!

Imagine my surprise getting a bottle of face cream called "Magic Of Aloe".

I am always suspect of a bottle who has ingredients I can easily say and have heard of before. This company doesn't even claim the aloe is from a remote land, untouched by man, bred from the rarest Aloe plant. It just says "Aloe".

Ladies, are we really back to basics? What about the acids? If this whole "keep it simple" approach does the job then there's a greenhouse I need to be buying soon. Please post if the aloe in this bottle was a true abracadabra!!

Buy It Now!
Proto-Collagen Moisturizer

A big thank-you goes out to Stephanie at Blissworld.com that send us the $28 Diamancel nail file with real DIAMOND chips in there!
Can you imagine? I am pretty fancy pants but I really am feeling like Kimora Lee with this snazzy item.

The previous, skinny, flimsy orange ones I had laying around have been trashed. Now, I am embarassed I owned such a pauper item.

Part of Dimancel's genius is "DURABLE" and "WASHABLE" so it'll last and not get nasty.

Is it worth $28 ? Does it work on real and "sculpted" nails? Is this a "must-have" item or are we just suckers for anything that has Diamond specks in it?

Ladies please post if your Diamancel Nail File made your hands look like a million bucks.

Buy It Now!
Blissworld.com

The fantastic PR reps for Dermadoctor sent us "WRINKLE REVENGE"! An eye balm to "rescue & protect"! I was happier to recieve this promise in a lavendar shade box then any promise that could come in a same sized Tiffany blue one.

If anyone needs help feeling rescued and protected from wrinkles it's me. I am completely in denial about them. Today I baked in the sun. I smoked 10 ciggs. I'm drinking a glass of pinot as I type this and I've only eaten a Hot Pocket. I also am a restless sleeper that tended to sweat the small stuff until I decided to start popping Lexapro. Or as I like to call it, "living in Lexaland".

Every article I read says the best way to fight wrinkles is to prevent them. Stay out of the sun, NO SMOKING, moderate drinking and a well-balanced diet. Sending out an S.O.S ! What's the point of having no wrinkles if the only people commenting on how great my skin looks are the nuns living in the damn monastery I'll have to move into!

So please Wrinkle Revenge, I need you. I need you like the flower needs the rain. You know I need you.

Ladies please post if DERMAdoctor's Wrinkle REVENGE rescued and protected or if you should start calling me "Sister Meg Make-Up"?

Buy it now!

DERMAdoctor Wrinkle Revenge Rescue & Protect Eye Balm

The brilliant PR Reps for LUMENE sent us out a bunch of Berryfun Lipgloss in tons of different shades to test!

You ladies kill me, you're hysterical. When you log-in to be a "Meg's Make-Up" poster there is a basic questionnaire to fill out. One of the questions asked was " what 3 items you would most want on a deserted island", the answers ran the gamut. Here is a brief sample of what your like-minded readers wanted...Anti-depressants, no men and the best one? Someone put they they just wanted eggs.

Alright, so those are a bit quirky. What did the most of you want? Sunscreen and..LIPGLOSS!! Lipgloss over champagne, vodka and, oh, I don't know..WATER!?!?! Obviously, we have A BUNCH of women that swear by their lipgloss. Maybe they wanted to impress the natives..

Ladies, when you post for this item please add the number on the base of the tube that you tested. As I mentioned we got A LOT of colors to shine our lips with!

Please post if you were left on Paradise Island or Gilligan's with this product!

Buy it now!
lumeme.com

The wonderful PR reps for DR. Jeffrey Dover's Skin Effects sent us out "Purifying Effects" Deep-Cleaning Enzyme Scrub for All Skin Types. I have never seen so many Doctors on a daily basis in my entire life and I have broken some serious bones in my day. Lately, I am terminal. I see Dr. Brandt, Dr. Hauschka and now every morning, Dr. Dover. Thought you wanted to marry a Doctor for the financial stability and benefits? No dear. That is so 1980's, now you want to marry a Doctor with the hopes he has an affinity for face cream. I blame Clinique, you know, sounds like "clinic" sounds like "doctor" dress your salespeople in white lab coats and you (you meaning me, and maybe you) think their on to some new, secret "cure". Ahh, the trickery.

Is an MD background now the only tool that will sell you a potion for your face? Is this smart or just marketing mumbo-jumbo?
This Skin Effects Scrub promises"..healthy, younger-looking, more beautiful skin".

Ladies please post if your doctor made a shower house-call or if we should be suing for malpractice...

But it now!
Skin Effects Purifying Effects Enzyme Scrub

Tarte Mineral Powder Bronzer! I can't believe the packaging. I mean, right there on the package they write "Park Avenue Princess". They enclose their product in a super fab gold, faux croc with a faux gold chain. HOW DECADENT IS THAT! Tarte and Dianne Brill should have a package-off. They both reign supreme in this category. Oh boy, please don't get me into packaging. You're talking to a lady that thinks Chanel is priced reasonably for the honor of the double CC's. The CC purse hides A LOT of flaws. Does this bronzer? Are you a golden godess with a few swipes from this palette or is the canal street knock-off better? For $28.00 are you turned into a 24 carat Park Avenue Princess?

Buy it now!
Tarte Mineral Powder Bronzer Park Avenue Princess

Meg (Madge's creator) sent us some moisture lotion that has SPF 15. The tube says that you can apply it under your foundation for a healthy and shimmery glow.
Have you ever seen pictures of Oprah without her make-up? That's how I look in the morning. When I go to the mirror fresh from a shower, I look and think, Oh my God! What has happened to me? I am so not glowing-shimmery or otherwise. I understand age and lifestyle contributes to this. I'm not yet of an"age" but my lifestyle (which I am not willing to give-up) has wreaked havoc on the skin.

Maybe going out 5x a week is bad, maybe smoking a pack a day is "bad", maybe I don't need 2 bottles of veuve.
Who is this person telling me this and why do I want to strangle her?

If Meg has found a cure for life-style then sign me up for it (with-out actually having to change the life-style).
I, actually really like the life-style enough to suffer for it. If sun is my biggest vice then damn! I am boring! Ladies please post if on your hung-over days, your sleepless nights, your blotchy week-days if this moisturizer made you feel like a Mormon on the beach!!

Buy it now!
madgecosmetics.com

ERA PRIMER in aerosal form? I am not equipped to write for this site. I am clearly behind the times. When Smashbox sent us their primer I thought it was some sort of new revolution taking place. Primer? Wow! A product that fills in your lines and creases before you apply your foundation so the foundation does not run into your own private Grand Canyon(s). Spackle for your face if you will...I clearly need to get out more. There is Primer to the left of you, Primer to the right and here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

I have to admit, I have been trying to become more hip (maybe referring to early 70's songs does not help this). I have done Primer research. I have yet to come upon a primer that is in spray form. Looks like Classified has revolutionized that. A primer is suppose to not only act as a spackle but also a glue. It is suppose to make your foundation, lipstick and mascara adhere. Classified has on its Primer bottle that you can spray it on your face, eyelashes and mouth. Make-Up in order of dissappearing act. 1 Foundation. 2 Lipstick. 3 Mascara.

Does this defy make-up's invisible act? Can an aerosal primer lock in the basics? Are we all just dust in the wind? Ladies Please Post if you experienced an ever-lasting gobstopper for your face?

Buy it now!
classifiedcosmetics.com