Stacy B here! Timing is everything. Swing a second later and you've struck out. Hit the gas a second earlier and you've avoided an accident. Send your resume at the right moment and you've landed your dream job. It works with products, too. Put on that sunscreen at the right time and no cancer or wrinkles for you! Wait on that darker shade of lipstick until the right season and you're a fashion 'do'. Start that new face wash the same day as a humid heat wave and you might avoid some unslightly blemishes.
I got a great product from Dove recently that was a bit off on the arrival. I like it, but I keep thinking how much more I'll like it 5 months from now.
It's Dove's White Beauty Bar. This is a highly advertised brand so I'm sure most of you have heard about it. And if you're a good listener, you know that Dove products contain 1/4 pure moisture cream that can leave your skin soft and smooth. The claim is that it washes like a soap, but not only will it not dry out your skin like one, it adds moisture to your skin. My problem is my skin isn't really dry in the summer....
Like a majority of women, I've trended toward body washes for many years and stayed away from bar soaps because the body washes smelled better, lathered better, lasted longer, didn't get crusty and cracked in the shower, stored neatly and didn't dry my skin. So when I got this I wasn't too excited to try it, but I did (I'm a good little reviewer like that).
The verdict was positive....I did like it. It smelled clean and fresh, had a nice shape, fit easily in my hand and had that curve in it that allowed me to easily wash my arms and legs. So far it has lasted over a week and is barely shrinking. It hasn't left much icky soap scum and slime on my shower shelf. A little, but that's to be expected. It lathered well which is a big deal for me. I need my bubbles. It was a thicker lather, too. Thick enough that I did a quick shin shave with just the soap and I didn't get any irritation or razor burn from it. I wouldn't recommend shaving with just this soap regularly, but it would work in an emergency.
My skin feels clean and soft. There's no filmy feeling that soap can leave on you and my skin does feel moisturized. I still use lotion, but I would no matter what. I am not looking for a bar that can replace my lotion routine, just compliment it. This definitely did.
Hello ladies! It's Jeanasina here and I'm up to no-good as usual! Picture this...Me, a secluded room, a small wooden spoon, a drawstring bag made out of jute AND a mason jar, which is now...OPEN! You don't even have to look inside the jar, to know that something delightful is inside! The fragrance inside the jar comes wafting out at you... Welcome to the JeanasinaI-Know-How-To-Have-Fun-With-Skin-Creams-Hour!
Right now ladies, as you read this, HONEYSUCKLE BLOOD ORANGE CUSTARD is pulsating through my skin! Here's what's been happening...Just moments before you got here, I took myself into a private room in my home and I sat down on a chair. I pulled out a rough looking little burlap looking bag and set it on the table. I looked to the left and then to the right and made sure I was alone with my private stash. It was still just me and my Farmhouse Fresh acquirement.
I opened up my rough little bag and pulled out a small, perfect sized little wooden spoon. Then...with total anticipation, I pulled out the old fashioned jelly-looking jar. At that point I turned on the music. I had to create a mood. I played "Tip Toe Through the Tulips" by Tiny Tim, and "E.T." by Katy Perry ... at the same time! The two songs complimented each other nicely.
I opened up the jar and THERE, waiting patiently, was THE body cream that is loved by vixens and goody-two-shoes alike! I took my delightful little spoon and I did a little stirring! I scooped up a small amount of Farmhouse Fresh Blood Orange Honeysuckle Custard! I scooped on my arm to start! There goes another dollop on my leg! Scoop! Scoop! Scoop!
Like a crazed fool, I randomly took small spoonfuls of Farmhouse Fresh's newest concoction and dolloped them everywhere I felt like it on my skin! Individual spoonfuls of creamy, dreamy, soft as fresh pudding, custard, head to toe! Then...oh then came the smoothing of it INTO my skin! How fun was that? Melted right in! Every time you put the Honeysuckle custard onto the spoon you just REALLY want to bring that spoon right up to your lips and taste the stuff! It's almost like a DARE!
If this company were to advertise by making a cult horror movie clip, it would look like this... GIANT SIZED, FARM HOUSE FRESH, HONEYSUCKLE, BLOOD ORANGE CREAM CUSTARD FILLED JARS, would be terrorizing the local town's people yelling "EAT ME!" I'm just sayin' - the smells...they totally kill you with their authentic -you-know-you-want-to-taste-me, smells! They are mouth-watering!
I wish I could be one of those "Girls of Summer"...I really do but Goddess Granny is more like an "Autumn Evening" sort of girl. I like the sun but it hates my fair,sensitive skin.I want to do "outdoor sports" but I am better suited to a crowded dance class or dingy studio with a pole. I WANT bronzed skin and gilded hair but alas, unless I spray it on and pay a lot for a few golden strands, I simply have to fight to attain such iconic all American beauty. Not really worth it for me most of the year and I absolutely believe that all should keep their faces out of the sun (and that includes chests and hands!) to avoid premature aging, brown spots and worse but I too want to be a carefree shade of light caramel for at least a couple of months?
Again,I resort to a few tried and true beauty-BFF's to get me by: Sally Hansen's "Airbrushed Legs"in a sleek and affordable canister in a pinch and the amazing "Arcona" self-tanning bronzer that gives a hint of REAL looking healthy color naturally while you get a fake bake in a few hours.You also can't beat brush on/blend on bronzers by LORAC or Benefit BUT as always,the results are only as good as the blank canvas/skin you apply your sun-kissed coloring on top of...
I love bath and body products and have a decent stash: not much makes me feel better than a good soak, shampoo, or cleanse (LOVE Zakia's Moroccan Black Soap for the ultimate in skin purifying goodness!) and yes, I am a sucker for anything that scrubs and smoothes and scents me in the process? I have tested and bought more than my share of fine products but when "LaLicious" Sugar Souffle scrub landed in my lap, I knew I was holding something special! Jessica Kernochan used the "opportunity" of losing her job in 2002 to create what I believe to be one of THE best, highest quality,and luxurious lines of handcrafted bath and body products available! Natural and paraben-free ingredients are only the beginning of what makes her "LaLicious" line of products highly sought after and used in many top salon and spas...and did I mention that girls like Halle Berry, Jessica Alba and Kate Hudson ALSO can't get enough "LaLicious" goodness?
Meg hair! Or should I say Meg less hair! After fearing a bikini wax for oh, 20 years and having conquered that fear (Remember Baby's First Bikini Wax?)I have decided to conquer all of my fears! Well, the ones that have to do with different methods of hair removal.
Waxing was easy enough and I absolutely loved not having to grab for a bikini shave for weeks. Why ever have to shave a bikini area again? Or how about, Why ever do I have to shave again anywhere? No. I'm not talking about embracing my armpits, I'm talking about forever eradicating hair anywhere! Sign me up! It's a good thing I'm not a drastic person. I want to be razor free forever! It's not an outlandish statement. We put a man on the moon, we can make a woman get rid of her Venus!
I needed to take a xanax for my nerves before my foray into the world of wax. I didn't have access to one before my laser appointment. Dr. Simon Ourian is someone that I will occasionally run into while I'm out having dinner. He's not a gyno. Although he is completely professional and named best cosmetic Los Angeles dermatologist over and over again, I would be going with nurse Jaime at Epione for this one. *Generally, there really should only be one person per dinner that's seen the goods.*
Dr. Ourian knows that I am a bit of a baby. I was upstairs at his practice when my phone rang.
Meg: Hi, listen I forgot a xanax. Do I need numbing creme or morphine or to be knocked out for this? Do you do general anesthesia?
Dr. Ourian: No. Even you will be fine with ice. You can just numb the area and you'll be fine.
Meg: O.K., I just put the ice packs in my jeans? That's fine. I'm the only one in here. Yes, thank-you. I'll just do ice.
I think I can hear Dr. Ourian roll his eyes over the phone but nonetheless, a second nurse arrives with the ice packets that I insert into my underwear. While I sit in a waiting room. I know. I have no shame. I'm nervous!
“It is all very well for so-called sensible people to recommend flat heels and short skirts, but most of us prefer not to be sensible.” Meg here! I read once that Tina Turner said she that she had "fabulous legs and a perfect behind" because she always wore heels. Always. I was about 12 years old when I read this and I couldn't wait to toss my keds.
I am most always in heels. There are my coveted Chanel flats and I have a pair of Tod's driving loafers that I scoot around in. I also love my obligatory Uggs. However, none of those make the cut when I want to make my legs look longer or my butt 25% better. Yes, 25% better is the actual, scientific number that a study found that your butt gets helped by heels. This sounds a lot better then a treadmill. Also, more fun.
I have Chanel and Tory Burch and Gucci and I have a much loved pair that cost $25. I'm all over the map. The days of me buying $600 shoes are long gone (THEY WILL BE BACK!) Actually, it's sort of irresponsible to be doing it all the time even if you can. What's that? Everything in moderation...Even moderation? So my shoe credential is not that they cost a zillion dollars but that they look like they do.
It's an easy, fun and inexpensive way to get gorgeous shoes. What I am really into is that they don't just look great-they're comfortable. Here's a tip from someone that's always running around in stiletto's Get Ones With A Lift In The Front. This is a very important tip. If it has a bit of a platform in the front you can wear sky high heels with zero pain. Even though it looks it, you're not really walking on that high of a heel.
I also have a weird thing with flip-flops. I don't own one pair. I can't do it. I hate anything between my toes. It freaks me out. This may be a disorder. I'm not sure if any of you out there have it but it would be nice to know I'm not alone. Sole Society has personalized picks that get emailed to you every month. How do they know your style? You tell them. You take a quiz that asks multiple choice question to evaluate exactly who you are and what shoes are going to get you excited. I was very happy with the matches they came back for with me. If you're not? You can resubmit and you'll get sent a bunch of new closet choices. Not bad, right?
Meg here! Today we are going to be talking about boxing. Well, competition just in general. You all know the love affair I have with my bestie roomies? They put up with my daily insanity and the insanity that is my love life. I don't work in an office and I'm not really about to go pick up men in bars. I am at home writing and then in my evening's I am covering Red Carpet events. There is no time to talk up the cute guy in business development when you are the head of business development. There is also no time to talk up the cute VP, Pres. or Merger's guy. Guess what? I'm all those positions as well. The "hottie" in the office is my 65-year-old mailman that stops by once a day.
How do I find men to date? Well, much to the chagrin and amusement of my roomies I find them off television or out of magazine interviews. Is this stalkerish? I'm sure. But if you're off selling it and I'm watching it then I'm sort of the consumer so yes, if I like what I see there's a good chance we're having dinner. There are two types of people at a dinner. The quick and the hungry. I'm not hungry much. I also live in a town where the people on make-believe are schlubbing it in their sweats at my deli or one phone call away from a mutual friend. That's what 15 years in Hollywood provides...TV order dates.
I had picked the last few dates off of TV and then I had a disaster of a romance with another also in the entertainment biz when my friend Jo offered up this advice, "I don't know. I think these entertainment guys just are not working out for you. I think we need to completely change type. Black rapper? NFL Player? Fireman? Carnival barker?" She had a point. I did always seems to be with those damn creatives. She continued "You should try someone completely different. We all know the definition of "insanity." (This is where I picture the definition of "insanity" and see my smiling face as the photo that describes the word.)
Fine. Different. No worries, I could do this. But first I needed to get in the shower for my date with the hot director (Damn! Did it again!)
Back and focused. The date was fine but I could see where it was going. It was going down this street I'd been down before. The crossroads of "Nowhere" and "Too Much Trouble." My GPS has this direction on auto-pilot.
I was with my roomie when I told her my new game plan. Then it happened. Just like that. There was an email inviting me to the launch of a man named Manny Pacquiao's fragrance event.
Meg Oh great. I just got invited to a man named Manny Pacquaio's fragrance event. He's some sort of boxer or something. I'm going to date him. He's different.
Kristen: Are you out of your mind? He's not some sort of boxer. He's a huge, big celebrity. Like world known. Huge Megan, huge.
Meg:Um. I read US Weekly like every week and I have never heard of him and he's not that huge. He looks about 5'6.
Kristen: You're crazy. He's one of the most famous athletes in the world. You're not dating him. You're never getting him over here. He has like 80 bodyguards. It's never going to happen! They wont let you near him!
I hate to be challenged. I hate to be doubted. I am used to being underestimated so I just shoot Kristen a "Really?" eyebrow raise. I'm nothing if not determined.
Kristen: If you get Manny Pacquiao in this living room I will shave my head!
Meg:That does nothing for me. If I get Manny Pacquiao in this living room, you will have Pacquiao shave your head so I can put it on YouTube and have the link go back to Megsmakeup.com. It will probably go viral and I could use the multi-million hits. Kristen: Fine. It's on.
Was I obviously misguided about who Manny Pacquaio is? Yes. Of course I am. I'm a border-line life moron but I went to the event. I went to the launch of his new fragrance "MP8 Scent of The Champion" at Ron Robinson's Fred Segal. I went with every other Pacquaio fan that bore Pacquio's face on their T-Shirt that mobbed the entire parking lot. It was like waiting for a Beatle to arrive. There were ton's of fans and I realized "Ugh. Kristen maybe right on this one."
Much like Pacquaio, I'm always up for a good fight and while I was beginning to realize the living room visit was far out of reach...So was Kristen. She had left town for the weekend and I could still hatch some sort of plan. "Even though it took a year to develop this fragrance from concept to launch, the effort was worth it. It is my hope that hardworking and determined men who wear MP8 will feel confident in their own skin and share that positive attitude with everyone else...diligence breeds confidence."-Manny Pacquaio.
"Dilligence breeds confidence?" I hear you all too loud Mr. Manny. Preaching to the choir. I would be dilligent in letting Kristen know I would get near him.
Hi! My name is Meg and I get shot up with botox every 3 months. I do acid derma-peels. I inflate my top lip twice yearly. I have broken 7 bones in my body. I have "gone under" for surgery 4 times. I opted for the most painful under the muscle breast implant. My bestfriend's are juvaderm, restalyne, radiesse, dysport and collagen. I laugh in the face of cosmetic surgery. I am a cosmetic dermatologist's Ninja. I have never met a facial syringe I haven't loved.
I've never had a bikini wax. I was afraid.
Side note. I really need my 85-year-old Gram to log off now. She's hysterical, she'll send me guilt ridden emails about my posts "How could you use the word shitty?" I never asked her to read Megsmakeup.com. So Gram, I'm warning you, you're not going to like this content.
I was terrified to get a bikini wax. I was scared shitless. This would have been an OK reaction because Pink Cheeks specializes in not only waxes but anal bleaching.
If I'm going somewhere that is going to rip my pubic hairs out-I'm going to the top place . My research showed that every Playmate, Penthouse, Bikini Model, Porn Star goes to "see Cindy at Pink Cheeks."
I took an entire xanax before I drove to Pink Cheeks. I was nervous. There was no way this wasn't going to hurt. My roomie told me that when she went to get waxed it was less painful when her ovarian cyst exploded. Awesome. However, she didn't go to Pink Cheeks.
I made it to the waiting room. It was nice enough. I saw another woman sitting and waiting for her appointment and she looked stressed out. She didn't think to drug herself before the appointment. That's so innocent. I offered her a valium.
Good morning from Jeanasina headquarters! I'm having my morning cup of coffee and feeling content because I just took a shower using new Gold Bond Ultimate Healing Deep Moisture Body Wash with Aloe!
Lately I have been noticing that my current body wash isn't cutting it – my skin has been feeling extra dry so it was time to do my research and see what is out there that I haven't tried! I needed a body wash that would add moisture to my 'write-your-name-with-your-fingernail-on-my-skin-and-be-able-to-read-it' state of skin dryness! I was at the grocery store (CUB) in the body wash section, when I noticed they had a product with the words 'NEW!' on it! It was Gold Bond Ultimate Healing Deep Moisture Body Wash... “for skin that looks and feels noticeably healthier'” with Aloe! I picked it up and I opened the lid and gave the tube a gentle squeeze and did the 'Jeanasina HAS GOT TO SMELL STUFF FIRST BEFORE SHE BUYS ANYTHING sniff'! Once long ago I did this with body wash and I accidentally squeezed the container SO hard that the stuff shot up my nose and then fell back out and dripped all over my wool winter coat! I didn't have a tissue or anything to wipe it up at the time, so it was a mess and I was sure it was caught on the store camera somewhere! Still...I continue to do this behavior...this necessary sniffing of products before I buy, in the store. It's gotta meet my smell criteria standards or it's just NOT coming home with me!
The Gold Bond Ultimate Deep Moisture Body Wash claims to moisturize your skin DEEP DOWN! That's what I wanted! Here are some of the attributes that lured me into trying this particular body wash!
-Aloe - Natural, healing botanical helps soothe minor skin irritations. -7 Intensive Moisturizers: Restore and help maintain skin's ideal moisture levels. -Fresh Clean Scent: Provides skin with a fresh clean fragrance. -Easy Squeeze Tube: New lightweight and flexible tube is easier to grip and use. -Vitamin A: Improves elasticity and reduces appearance of wrinkles. -Vitamin C: Promotes skin development and collagen formation. -Vitamin E: Enhances protective function of skin and minimizes lipid loss.
It's 8:30 on Tuesday evening as I write this. I'm willing to bet that right now NONE of you are wearing gloves! Hello!? Spring is here! Is this glove talk right now more of Jeanasina's insanity? What if I were to tell you that I found a pair of gloves that actually contain natural aloe vera and vitamin E in the glove and that you wear them at night?! I discovered a pair of Earth Therapeutics Ultra Plush Moisturizing Gloves on an end cap at Marshalls recently!
The compulsion to buy them really started when I read the tag on the gloves...”these super-soft gloves continually moisturize while surrounding your hands in plush comfort.” Moisturizing gloves?
These soft moisturizing gloves come in 6 colors! Not every store has all the colors. There is a warning on the gloves that says “Do not IRON!” ! How many of you out there have EVER ironed your gloves? I can only imagine a couple saying something like this...the man...”My darling! We are going to be late! What's keeping you?” and the woman of course responds in a fairy-godmother lilting voice... “I'm ironing my gloves my sweet!”.
On the BONUS side for me...besides making my hands feel nicer after I take them off...these gloves are also the answer to my silent prayer! Every night, just before I'm going to go to bed, mini-icebergs blast through my bloodstream and cause futuristic freezing stuff to enter my hands! By 8:00 p.m. my hands are totally freezing! The rest of my body is warm and of a human temperature! Not the hands … they seem to have their own thermostat that STOPS WORKING at night!
Meg here and I'm nice. I'm sorry if I don't respond to every single email. I swear I try to. I get over 100 a day. I am nice. I swear. I was minding my own business when I got "URGENT TO BE KILLED AT 3pm" in my inbox. I didn't want to look and then I saw that picture. Could they make it more unflattering? I travel. I travel a lot, I can't rescue a mastiff. I could rescue that dog that looked like a noose was going to be hung around it's neck and she had a certain sumthin' that made my heart melt. I called the pound. For those of you that don't know, Los Angeles has the highest "kill rate" in the country. Yes, LA County is nice enough to give dogs about 5 days in the over-crowded pounds before we "put down" AKA "kill 'em."
I asked my roomies, who each own their own dogs that I love.
Meg: I think with a bath and some food she could be quite decent. I always take care of your dogs and I'm sad not having my own. I can take her places. She's small.
Meg: WHAT THE HELL? THEY'RE GOING TO KILL HER!! (I may have been on my period and started to weep for the lost spirit)
Roomies: Fine, go get her.
I came home with my "Prudence" so happy. I was beaming a light that had been lost after losing my other 16-year-old dogs. She is adorable and loving and my roommates love her. I don't want to remember life before Prudence because she brings me so much love.
Here's where the story gets a bit murky. See the before pic? See the after? See the difference. She is smiling. I love this dog. When I got her from her death camp I was told "she is too sick to be spayed." She was barely 7 pounds, starving and having respiratory problems. The pound continued "bring her back once you've made her healthy and we'll fix her."
Make her healthy? Boy oh boy did I. I ate hot pockets and Lean Cuisine and cooked for Prudence three times a day. She feasted on Whole Food's Organic Beef, Poultry and top filet. I gave her snacks, I fed her antibiotics....
Then it happened...
My roommate noticed it first "Wow! She's...Um, really, really liking your cooking." (I'm an awful cook) This statement is suspect at just that.
Prudence was lounging on her back when I first saw it. I saw nipples that resembled udders. I quickly went to Google and looked at the signs. It seems as though Prudence is no Prude.
I scooped my virginal rescue angel up in my arms and headed to the vet. They assured me that even though she had put on 6 pounds in three weeks there could be another reason. There wasn't. "Prudence mother, can you come back here and look at the X-Rays?" The vet said. I felt like I was on an episode on ER.
The vet put up an X-Ray and continued "Prudence is pregnant. I see four skulls. There maybe a fifth." I start to hyperventilate. I can't deal with my own menstrual cycle. "How did this happen?" I ask the vet. She looks at me like I'm a moron (given.) At this point I still think we have a nine month pregnancy. "I can tell by the way her pelvic bones have shifted you'll be a grandmother (GRANDMOTHER) to five pups in about ten days."
I am so mad at Prudence. Has she not seem PSA's on safe sex? She was homeless for goodness sake! What if I, world's biggest sap didn't come along. The madness subsides within a minute and I just need to talk to her. I ask for time alone. "Who is the father Prudence? I don't have an "aunt" or a "school" to send you to. Holy Mother of God. I got a D-. A D- MINUS in biology."
I scoop my wayward dog up and drive home. We don't even have a "choice" No one does late term abortions on rescue cairn terrier's with ten days left!!