Meg hair! Or should I say Meg less hair! After fearing a bikini wax for oh, 20 years and having conquered that fear (Remember Baby's First Bikini Wax?)I have decided to conquer all of my fears! Well, the ones that have to do with different methods of hair removal.
Waxing was easy enough and I absolutely loved not having to grab for a bikini shave for weeks. Why ever have to shave a bikini area again? Or how about, Why ever do I have to shave again anywhere? No. I'm not talking about embracing my armpits, I'm talking about forever eradicating hair anywhere! Sign me up! It's a good thing I'm not a drastic person. I want to be razor free forever! It's not an outlandish statement. We put a man on the moon, we can make a woman get rid of her Venus!
I needed to take a xanax for my nerves before my foray into the world of wax. I didn't have access to one before my laser appointment. Dr. Simon Ourian is someone that I will occasionally run into while I'm out having dinner. He's not a gyno. Although he is completely professional and named best cosmetic Los Angeles dermatologist over and over again, I would be going with nurse Jaime at Epione for this one. *Generally, there really should only be one person per dinner that's seen the goods.*
Dr. Ourian knows that I am a bit of a baby. I was upstairs at his practice when my phone rang.
Meg: Hi, listen I forgot a xanax. Do I need numbing creme or morphine or to be knocked out for this? Do you do general anesthesia?
Dr. Ourian: No. Even you will be fine with ice. You can just numb the area and you'll be fine.
Meg: O.K., I just put the ice packs in my jeans? That's fine. I'm the only one in here. Yes, thank-you. I'll just do ice.
I think I can hear Dr. Ourian roll his eyes over the phone but nonetheless, a second nurse arrives with the ice packets that I insert into my underwear. While I sit in a waiting room. I know. I have no shame. I'm nervous!
“It is all very well for so-called sensible people to recommend flat heels and short skirts, but most of us prefer not to be sensible.” Meg here! I read once that Tina Turner said she that she had "fabulous legs and a perfect behind" because she always wore heels. Always. I was about 12 years old when I read this and I couldn't wait to toss my keds.
I am most always in heels. There are my coveted Chanel flats and I have a pair of Tod's driving loafers that I scoot around in. I also love my obligatory Uggs. However, none of those make the cut when I want to make my legs look longer or my butt 25% better. Yes, 25% better is the actual, scientific number that a study found that your butt gets helped by heels. This sounds a lot better then a treadmill. Also, more fun.
I have Chanel and Tory Burch and Gucci and I have a much loved pair that cost $25. I'm all over the map. The days of me buying $600 shoes are long gone (THEY WILL BE BACK!) Actually, it's sort of irresponsible to be doing it all the time even if you can. What's that? Everything in moderation...Even moderation? So my shoe credential is not that they cost a zillion dollars but that they look like they do.
It's an easy, fun and inexpensive way to get gorgeous shoes. What I am really into is that they don't just look great-they're comfortable. Here's a tip from someone that's always running around in stiletto's Get Ones With A Lift In The Front. This is a very important tip. If it has a bit of a platform in the front you can wear sky high heels with zero pain. Even though it looks it, you're not really walking on that high of a heel.
I also have a weird thing with flip-flops. I don't own one pair. I can't do it. I hate anything between my toes. It freaks me out. This may be a disorder. I'm not sure if any of you out there have it but it would be nice to know I'm not alone. Sole Society has personalized picks that get emailed to you every month. How do they know your style? You tell them. You take a quiz that asks multiple choice question to evaluate exactly who you are and what shoes are going to get you excited. I was very happy with the matches they came back for with me. If you're not? You can resubmit and you'll get sent a bunch of new closet choices. Not bad, right?
Meg here! Today we are going to be talking about boxing. Well, competition just in general. You all know the love affair I have with my bestie roomies? They put up with my daily insanity and the insanity that is my love life. I don't work in an office and I'm not really about to go pick up men in bars. I am at home writing and then in my evening's I am covering Red Carpet events. There is no time to talk up the cute guy in business development when you are the head of business development. There is also no time to talk up the cute VP, Pres. or Merger's guy. Guess what? I'm all those positions as well. The "hottie" in the office is my 65-year-old mailman that stops by once a day.
How do I find men to date? Well, much to the chagrin and amusement of my roomies I find them off television or out of magazine interviews. Is this stalkerish? I'm sure. But if you're off selling it and I'm watching it then I'm sort of the consumer so yes, if I like what I see there's a good chance we're having dinner. There are two types of people at a dinner. The quick and the hungry. I'm not hungry much. I also live in a town where the people on make-believe are schlubbing it in their sweats at my deli or one phone call away from a mutual friend. That's what 15 years in Hollywood provides...TV order dates.
I had picked the last few dates off of TV and then I had a disaster of a romance with another also in the entertainment biz when my friend Jo offered up this advice, "I don't know. I think these entertainment guys just are not working out for you. I think we need to completely change type. Black rapper? NFL Player? Fireman? Carnival barker?" She had a point. I did always seems to be with those damn creatives. She continued "You should try someone completely different. We all know the definition of "insanity." (This is where I picture the definition of "insanity" and see my smiling face as the photo that describes the word.)
Fine. Different. No worries, I could do this. But first I needed to get in the shower for my date with the hot director (Damn! Did it again!)
Back and focused. The date was fine but I could see where it was going. It was going down this street I'd been down before. The crossroads of "Nowhere" and "Too Much Trouble." My GPS has this direction on auto-pilot.
I was with my roomie when I told her my new game plan. Then it happened. Just like that. There was an email inviting me to the launch of a man named Manny Pacquiao's fragrance event.
Meg Oh great. I just got invited to a man named Manny Pacquaio's fragrance event. He's some sort of boxer or something. I'm going to date him. He's different.
Kristen: Are you out of your mind? He's not some sort of boxer. He's a huge, big celebrity. Like world known. Huge Megan, huge.
Meg:Um. I read US Weekly like every week and I have never heard of him and he's not that huge. He looks about 5'6.
Kristen: You're crazy. He's one of the most famous athletes in the world. You're not dating him. You're never getting him over here. He has like 80 bodyguards. It's never going to happen! They wont let you near him!
I hate to be challenged. I hate to be doubted. I am used to being underestimated so I just shoot Kristen a "Really?" eyebrow raise. I'm nothing if not determined.
Kristen: If you get Manny Pacquiao in this living room I will shave my head!
Meg:That does nothing for me. If I get Manny Pacquiao in this living room, you will have Pacquiao shave your head so I can put it on YouTube and have the link go back to Megsmakeup.com. It will probably go viral and I could use the multi-million hits. Kristen: Fine. It's on.
Was I obviously misguided about who Manny Pacquaio is? Yes. Of course I am. I'm a border-line life moron but I went to the event. I went to the launch of his new fragrance "MP8 Scent of The Champion" at Ron Robinson's Fred Segal. I went with every other Pacquaio fan that bore Pacquio's face on their T-Shirt that mobbed the entire parking lot. It was like waiting for a Beatle to arrive. There were ton's of fans and I realized "Ugh. Kristen maybe right on this one."
Much like Pacquaio, I'm always up for a good fight and while I was beginning to realize the living room visit was far out of reach...So was Kristen. She had left town for the weekend and I could still hatch some sort of plan. "Even though it took a year to develop this fragrance from concept to launch, the effort was worth it. It is my hope that hardworking and determined men who wear MP8 will feel confident in their own skin and share that positive attitude with everyone else...diligence breeds confidence."-Manny Pacquaio.
"Dilligence breeds confidence?" I hear you all too loud Mr. Manny. Preaching to the choir. I would be dilligent in letting Kristen know I would get near him.
Hi! My name is Meg and I get shot up with botox every 3 months. I do acid derma-peels. I inflate my top lip twice yearly. I have broken 7 bones in my body. I have "gone under" for surgery 4 times. I opted for the most painful under the muscle breast implant. My bestfriend's are juvaderm, restalyne, radiesse, dysport and collagen. I laugh in the face of cosmetic surgery. I am a cosmetic dermatologist's Ninja. I have never met a facial syringe I haven't loved.
I've never had a bikini wax. I was afraid.
Side note. I really need my 85-year-old Gram to log off now. She's hysterical, she'll send me guilt ridden emails about my posts "How could you use the word shitty?" I never asked her to read Megsmakeup.com. So Gram, I'm warning you, you're not going to like this content.
I was terrified to get a bikini wax. I was scared shitless. This would have been an OK reaction because Pink Cheeks specializes in not only waxes but anal bleaching.
If I'm going somewhere that is going to rip my pubic hairs out-I'm going to the top place . My research showed that every Playmate, Penthouse, Bikini Model, Porn Star goes to "see Cindy at Pink Cheeks."
I took an entire xanax before I drove to Pink Cheeks. I was nervous. There was no way this wasn't going to hurt. My roomie told me that when she went to get waxed it was less painful when her ovarian cyst exploded. Awesome. However, she didn't go to Pink Cheeks.
I made it to the waiting room. It was nice enough. I saw another woman sitting and waiting for her appointment and she looked stressed out. She didn't think to drug herself before the appointment. That's so innocent. I offered her a valium.
Good morning from Jeanasina headquarters! I'm having my morning cup of coffee and feeling content because I just took a shower using new Gold Bond Ultimate Healing Deep Moisture Body Wash with Aloe!
Lately I have been noticing that my current body wash isn't cutting it – my skin has been feeling extra dry so it was time to do my research and see what is out there that I haven't tried! I needed a body wash that would add moisture to my 'write-your-name-with-your-fingernail-on-my-skin-and-be-able-to-read-it' state of skin dryness! I was at the grocery store (CUB) in the body wash section, when I noticed they had a product with the words 'NEW!' on it! It was Gold Bond Ultimate Healing Deep Moisture Body Wash... “for skin that looks and feels noticeably healthier'” with Aloe! I picked it up and I opened the lid and gave the tube a gentle squeeze and did the 'Jeanasina HAS GOT TO SMELL STUFF FIRST BEFORE SHE BUYS ANYTHING sniff'! Once long ago I did this with body wash and I accidentally squeezed the container SO hard that the stuff shot up my nose and then fell back out and dripped all over my wool winter coat! I didn't have a tissue or anything to wipe it up at the time, so it was a mess and I was sure it was caught on the store camera somewhere! Still...I continue to do this behavior...this necessary sniffing of products before I buy, in the store. It's gotta meet my smell criteria standards or it's just NOT coming home with me!
The Gold Bond Ultimate Deep Moisture Body Wash claims to moisturize your skin DEEP DOWN! That's what I wanted! Here are some of the attributes that lured me into trying this particular body wash!
-Aloe - Natural, healing botanical helps soothe minor skin irritations. -7 Intensive Moisturizers: Restore and help maintain skin's ideal moisture levels. -Fresh Clean Scent: Provides skin with a fresh clean fragrance. -Easy Squeeze Tube: New lightweight and flexible tube is easier to grip and use. -Vitamin A: Improves elasticity and reduces appearance of wrinkles. -Vitamin C: Promotes skin development and collagen formation. -Vitamin E: Enhances protective function of skin and minimizes lipid loss.
It's 8:30 on Tuesday evening as I write this. I'm willing to bet that right now NONE of you are wearing gloves! Hello!? Spring is here! Is this glove talk right now more of Jeanasina's insanity? What if I were to tell you that I found a pair of gloves that actually contain natural aloe vera and vitamin E in the glove and that you wear them at night?! I discovered a pair of Earth Therapeutics Ultra Plush Moisturizing Gloves on an end cap at Marshalls recently!
The compulsion to buy them really started when I read the tag on the gloves...”these super-soft gloves continually moisturize while surrounding your hands in plush comfort.” Moisturizing gloves?
These soft moisturizing gloves come in 6 colors! Not every store has all the colors. There is a warning on the gloves that says “Do not IRON!” ! How many of you out there have EVER ironed your gloves? I can only imagine a couple saying something like this...the man...”My darling! We are going to be late! What's keeping you?” and the woman of course responds in a fairy-godmother lilting voice... “I'm ironing my gloves my sweet!”.
On the BONUS side for me...besides making my hands feel nicer after I take them off...these gloves are also the answer to my silent prayer! Every night, just before I'm going to go to bed, mini-icebergs blast through my bloodstream and cause futuristic freezing stuff to enter my hands! By 8:00 p.m. my hands are totally freezing! The rest of my body is warm and of a human temperature! Not the hands … they seem to have their own thermostat that STOPS WORKING at night!
Meg here and I'm nice. I'm sorry if I don't respond to every single email. I swear I try to. I get over 100 a day. I am nice. I swear. I was minding my own business when I got "URGENT TO BE KILLED AT 3pm" in my inbox. I didn't want to look and then I saw that picture. Could they make it more unflattering? I travel. I travel a lot, I can't rescue a mastiff. I could rescue that dog that looked like a noose was going to be hung around it's neck and she had a certain sumthin' that made my heart melt. I called the pound. For those of you that don't know, Los Angeles has the highest "kill rate" in the country. Yes, LA County is nice enough to give dogs about 5 days in the over-crowded pounds before we "put down" AKA "kill 'em."
I asked my roomies, who each own their own dogs that I love.
Meg: I think with a bath and some food she could be quite decent. I always take care of your dogs and I'm sad not having my own. I can take her places. She's small.
Meg: WHAT THE HELL? THEY'RE GOING TO KILL HER!! (I may have been on my period and started to weep for the lost spirit)
Roomies: Fine, go get her.
I came home with my "Prudence" so happy. I was beaming a light that had been lost after losing my other 16-year-old dogs. She is adorable and loving and my roommates love her. I don't want to remember life before Prudence because she brings me so much love.
Here's where the story gets a bit murky. See the before pic? See the after? See the difference. She is smiling. I love this dog. When I got her from her death camp I was told "she is too sick to be spayed." She was barely 7 pounds, starving and having respiratory problems. The pound continued "bring her back once you've made her healthy and we'll fix her."
Make her healthy? Boy oh boy did I. I ate hot pockets and Lean Cuisine and cooked for Prudence three times a day. She feasted on Whole Food's Organic Beef, Poultry and top filet. I gave her snacks, I fed her antibiotics....
Then it happened...
My roommate noticed it first "Wow! She's...Um, really, really liking your cooking." (I'm an awful cook) This statement is suspect at just that.
Prudence was lounging on her back when I first saw it. I saw nipples that resembled udders. I quickly went to Google and looked at the signs. It seems as though Prudence is no Prude.
I scooped my virginal rescue angel up in my arms and headed to the vet. They assured me that even though she had put on 6 pounds in three weeks there could be another reason. There wasn't. "Prudence mother, can you come back here and look at the X-Rays?" The vet said. I felt like I was on an episode on ER.
The vet put up an X-Ray and continued "Prudence is pregnant. I see four skulls. There maybe a fifth." I start to hyperventilate. I can't deal with my own menstrual cycle. "How did this happen?" I ask the vet. She looks at me like I'm a moron (given.) At this point I still think we have a nine month pregnancy. "I can tell by the way her pelvic bones have shifted you'll be a grandmother (GRANDMOTHER) to five pups in about ten days."
I am so mad at Prudence. Has she not seem PSA's on safe sex? She was homeless for goodness sake! What if I, world's biggest sap didn't come along. The madness subsides within a minute and I just need to talk to her. I ask for time alone. "Who is the father Prudence? I don't have an "aunt" or a "school" to send you to. Holy Mother of God. I got a D-. A D- MINUS in biology."
I scoop my wayward dog up and drive home. We don't even have a "choice" No one does late term abortions on rescue cairn terrier's with ten days left!!
Stacy B here! Back from the sun, sea and sand and doing everything humanly possible to keep my skin from peeling. Bonus hint: my Kahina Giving Beauty Argon Oil is putting up one helluva fight...and so far is winning! Try it next time you're out in the sun too long!
I went to Florida for 5 days last week to take my Bentley University cheerleading squad down to the NCA Collegiate National Cheerleading Championships so not only was I in the sun a lot, but it was a stressful trip, too! Keeping track of 25 college kids, competing over three days, making sure no one got in trouble and completing various coaching obligations is not exactly a relaxing vacation. I had so much to worry about like medical release forms, registration, flight times, shuttles to and from the airport, fundraising money for team dinners that I barely was able to pack for myself. One thing that fell of my to-do list was the mani-pedi before the trip. I had a pedicure recently so a quick self polish change was OK, but my nails were bare and very un-vacation.
Good thing I thought to put that nail buffer in my bag because it took dull, unpolished, ridged nails to shiny, smooth and ready to celebrate nails in about 5 minutes. My nails were an after thought until the actual competition was over after three days, but that night it was time to celebrate our 7th place overall finish with a club night! (18-plus of course, we had to include our underclassmen!)
This tear-shaped, double-sided tool takes care of two big issues I have, slight ridges and lack of shine. I love a clear coat of polish on my nails to up the shine factor but didn't want to pack a polish bottle (no broken glass in my bag, please!) and didn't have much time to really get ready in my hotel room.
First, I buffed each nail with the buffing side which was smooth enough that it didn't damage or rip the top of my nails, or thin them out too much but rough enough to get rid of some of the bumps and ridges I have. I did all 10 nails first and then washed off the nail dust.
Meg here! Another beauty maven posed the question "What perfume from the drugstore have you ever worn?" I took only about a moment before I had total recall and the commercial "Ooh, ooh, Malibu! Malibu Musk!" started to play in my head. It brought back the aqua spray bottle, the neon yellow and hot pink accents and how Eric Berthiaume made me cry before the 7th grade dance.
I did not grow up in a very exciting place and I was thrilled that I could project the exact same glamour and popularity as the beautiful women playing on the sand as the women in the Malibu Musk commercial. Never mind the women were probably 22 and I was 12. Never mind they were on the exclusive shores of Malibu and I was at the local town reservoir. Never mind! It was as much class and style one could ever hope to achieve and it was $7.99 at CVS.
It wasn't until 9th grade that brand snobbery had gotten the best of me. I was forking adult prices over for my Burberry's Society (which would surely impress upon new acquaintance that I had just left lunch with the Queen.) I rotated that bad boy with Christian Lacroix's "C'est La Vie"( for when I wanted to be mistaken for the Hotel Du Cap crowd.) I had very lofty social climbing skills for a 14 year old. There was no reason to shed tears over Eric Berthiaume when I had just read in People Magazine that Prince Philip was still a bachelor.
BabyLove here! I'm four weeks away from turning 30, and I'm on a mission. Since losing 24 lbs. last year on The Fresh Diet, I've successfully maintained my current weight. With the big day quickly approaching, I'm gearing up to lose twelve more pounds. I'm looking forward to taking a break from dieting. It's been almost three years, and I'm mentally exhausted.
I've decided to try some new things. I'm a super duper creature of habit, and I get nervous in unfamiliar situations, where I could potentially make a total jack ass of myself. Tonight, however, I bit the bullet and dragged one of my besties to a karate class at my son's school. My husband goes to the class almost every night. He comes home drenched in sweat, and exhausted. Just his tales of pushups and sit ups, and high knees make me tired. And every night he comes home telling me how much I'd love it. For awhile, I really tried to figure out what I had done to give him the impression that I loved pushups, sit ups, and high knees. I don't. I like to run slow, listen to the same music, and then bitch and moan about why my weight loss stalls. Basically, I like to talk a big game, and then take absolutely no accountability for why my jeans still fit tight in the bum.
Chrissy and I go into karate expecting a disaster. We bow a few times, run in some circles, do some pushups, jumping jacks, sit ups, really anything that you don't feel like doing. I was sweaty and out of breath, but felt really good. We did some punching bag work, and combos, and some more pushups and sit ups. Then, something really interesting happened. The instructor took out these fake knives, and set us up with a potential attacker scenario. We were taught how to defend ourselves. This is so important for women to learn because it can be life saving. The sad part is, I'm definitely 1,000x safer now, then I was in my early twenties. I cannot tell you how many times I left a bar, and walked into a dark parking lot alone. Or how many times I lived on the same coed floor in college where the girl two doors down from me was raped by her "friend.¨ I'm turning thirty, and this is the first time I've learned any sort of self defense, and right now, I'm the safest I've probably been in ten years.