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Mondays With Meg

Meg's musings.

HOW FACEBOOK MAY HAVE RUINED MY RELATIONSHIP!

Fri, 01/06/2012 - 3:22am
  • Mondays With Meg
  • Miscellaneous

meghappyIt's funny but not in a "Ha Ha" funny sort of way, more of a funny "I'm a girl and this may be your experience" as well. Facebook has ruined Meg's relationship and I'm not alone. It's widespread. "When Facebook gets involved, relationships can quickly fall apart – as Hosni Mubarak and Muammar Gaddafi have discovered. But dictatorships are not the only ties being dissolved by social networking sites: now Facebook is increasingly being blamed for undermining American marriages." I would bore you with the facts but know this, Facebook is the end for a player's game.

Ugh! Meg Not again! Not another one! I'm sorry "oops I did it again!" I want to thank Facebook for being the friend that would speak to you "in reason," and then you'd get mad at the friend. So much easier when the friend is a social networking site. No, I was never the friend that got mad, I was always the friend that was mad at. Thank-you Mark Zuckerbrg for being everyone's fall guy. Been there, know it's a tough role to play.

As a stalker, I love Facebook. There is no better stalking avenue out there. I can spend hours looking at classmates and judging them from my laptop. No harm no foul, I'm sure they're judging me as well "Well, this one never seemed to grow up."

I look at mean ex-classmates that have seemed to eat themselves and multiply and lose hair (love that.) I look at people I was envious of and think "Oh God, could you even imagine?" Once in a while I come across a nice picture where friends look genuinely happy and I feel a tinge of jealousy "Why isn't it so easy?"

This line always resonates in my head "If it were easy, everyone would do it." I knew I chose an off-beat path, one I believe in, but one that could never be described as "easy." Does it suck? No. Does it sometimes suck, yes.

More then anything, my life can be quite lonely. I work in solitude most of the time and for that, the men that reach out to me are...creeps. I work at home and do interviews and attend great parties at night which would fill the chapters of a Sex and The City book-except I'm not having sex. Has anyone that ever wrote one of these books actually been to one of these parties? Who am I having "sex" with? The gay coat check? Give me a break.

No, in real life, even in Meg life. Things don't work out like they do on HBO. How do I? The funniest, hottest, most fabulous woman ever (SHUT UP YOU MEANIE) meet someone? Well, it's a new sexy thing, we try through our friends...And then Facebook ruins it. Thanks Mark. I mean, I love you. Call me.

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LONELY HOLIDAY RANTS OVER! TARTE SMOLDEREYES WATERPROOF EYELINER!

Mon, 12/26/2011 - 10:56am
  • Mondays With Meg
  • Eyes

tarteemphaMeg here! Lonely, Bear Flag red wine (seriously the label is so cool, brought it to a Christmas party yesterday and got compliments and it's $9, tastes good too) nights are over. Survived another Christmas! Actually, I had Christmas with Fred and Roxy and Rox's husband their wonderful friend Robyn, so all was great!

I got a text from my sister that said "Thank-God, you're in LA, guess what went down at dinner, CALL ME!" See, I don't get stressed out and temporarily lose my mind (OK, like half the time but whatever) without good reason. The holiday's just amplify the lunacy. So big cheer we survived Holiday 2011! I hope most of you actually enjoyed it and that my crazy is rare!

What do I enjoy? Warm weather. I'm not one of those "it's so hot" people. I actually miss East Coast humidity. I like coming out of a restaurant at midnight and not needing a jacket. That's something a lot of people don't know about Los Angeles, even in the summer, you need something at night to wear to cover-up. Once the sun goes down it's just chilly.

I have limp hair in any climate so I'm not a frizz phobe. The only downside to humidity? Runny make-up. South Beach in three days,  there is a "sick" potential, I'm packing water-proof eye products.

Tarte SmolderEYES Amazonian Clay Waterproof Liner makes this job easy! I know we sent a lot out in points packages to try so I'm curious to hear if you love this as much as I do! I have in the shade "Bronze." It's a beautiful color, has a little shimmer to it, sophisticated shimmer, not "club kid."

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BOTOX INJECTIONS! LIP PLUMPED UP! MY CHANEL PURSE BROKE! WELCOME TO SUPERFICIAL DAY!

Tue, 12/20/2011 - 12:53am
  • Mondays With Meg
  • Face


Meg here! I would like to let you all know that my life is absolutely ridiculous and I'm in on the joke so please no hate emails about how superficial and stupid I am. I mean, I know. You don't have to take the precious time out of your lives to let me know, yes Carol in St. Louis, I'm talking to you. Leave me alone. I don't force you to read my babble you bitter, mean spirited witch.

So, lets get to the dirt. I love Chanel purses. I don't have a 401k or children or anything like normal but I do treat myself to an obscenely expensive handbag once a year. I meet with fashion and beauty editors constantly and if I don't have the right purse and shoes I'm not getting taken seriously so it's a business expense? Plus, I like them. No, I love them. There's no shame in my game and if a quilted bag makes me happy and costs as much as a used luxury car then shoot me. Maybe I need to find God but I've been praying at the altar of the House Of Chanel for as long as I can remember, religion is personal.

Dave and my main gay Denny were at my house and I was due for a little forehead and lip injections. As I say in the video, I date someone 5 years younger then me, which is new for me. The age difference doesn't bother me, as long as no one is the wiser that there's an age difference. Is that vain and wrong? Perhaps, but I never claimed to be a role model.

Anyhow, I asked Dave if he would film it and Denny is staying with me so he had no choice in the matter. We were talking needles and blood and pain and then this happened...

Meg:
OMG, no really, OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! (I grab the corner of my kitchen table to keep me from fainting on the ground)
Dave & Denny: they yell from the living room-What happened? We can't talk about blood. She's about to collapse. Meg!! What's wrong?

I have no words. I can't speak. All I can do is raise my treasured, black Chanel Caviar collection handbag off the table. It's at this point they see, it's so much worse then fainting from a medical conversation. My leather handle has become ripped from the bag. It's hanging on by threads. After a DECADE of seasonal use, RIP Black Quilted Chanel.

I did what any good, superficial woman in Hollywood does. I said...
We have to go get my lip shot up and my forehead done and then immediately head into Chanel. The salespeople will see my fresh facial work blood and treat me nicely. If they see all the needle marks on my face then they'll think rich Beverly Hills bitch and we might get some service. The absolute ridiculousness of this statement shows that I was in a state of panic. I have not budgeted for a new, black Chanel bag.

Dr. Simon Ourian is not only the BEST celebrity cosmetic dermatologist in Beverly Hills and his practice The Epione Center is an A-List mecca, he's also my friend. He's my friend and I love him and his wife. I also love that since he has a Beverly Hills wife he understood when I said "Simon, can we please hurry and fix my face? I've had a day. My Chanel bag broke." Like any smart man in the know he replied "Oh no, are you O.K.? I'm on my way."

Yes, again, I know. I never would answer "world peace" for my one wish in a beauty pageant. I don't think you're fake if you just own it. I'm a good person and I love Ross and Loehmann's so don't begrudge me over my Chanel bag meltdown. Why am I even apologizing? Stop being so judgey!!Kiss

The only thing that can make me feel better is having poison injected into my face. That and double vodka tonics. If I can't rely on my stupid expensive purse to get me by then I'm going to have to rely on another old bag that's fading...My face.

I decided to go with "don't look at my bag that is in the wrong color for this season, hopefully you will be distracted by my new, plump lips." My Gram reads this site and she is salt of the earth, goes to church everyday and probably never spent more then $30 on a purse on sale so I hope you log off now Gram because, much like Carol from St. Louis, I don't need to hear it. I KNOW.

I went to Simon's and I look as amazing as a well maintained 35 year old can look. Botox? Does it hurt? No and no and no. Please believe me. Lips? Yes, they hurt. It's not Dr. Ourian, they just hurt. I mean you're shooting stuff into your lips that make them expand. I want to yell out OWWWW! When he does it but instead, completely subconsciously, I hum The Star Spangled Banner which is so odd. I'm patriotic and all but it must be a past life thing. How is that my go to and not Born This Way?

It's been a day since my shots and they look fab. The purse? Well, it can be fixed. I told my boyfriend what happened under the guise of "Santa, I've been a good girl." His non-Simon response? "You need a new black bag? OK, does it have to be Chanel?" Who even asks that? It's (next to my dog Prudence) my one happiness in life. Yes. Santa, it HAS TO BE CHANEL!

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3LAB! "M" CREAM!

Mon, 12/05/2011 - 2:46pm
  • Mondays With Meg
  • Face

3labmcreamMeg here! Baby it's cold outside, it's been dipping in the low 60's here in Los Angeles. I know, cold is relative, OK?
I've been traveling back and forth NYC-LA and it's definitely been logging some miles on my skin. I'm usually pretty oily and only get a bit dry on my cheeks, not so much this past week. I don't know if it's possible but my face has completely decided to change tone. Friday night I was parked on my couch, I had two parties to attend and I was too exhausted to move, plus my face hurt. Yes, my face felt chapped, my lips were dry and I was in no mood to put on my dancing shoes. The only place I could motivate was to my powder room's mirror. I didn't like what I saw there much either. My skin was actually flaking. I had manage to do it. All of my skin drying flying had given me what looked like face dandruff. Sexy.

It was time to pull out the big guns. I have had a jar of 3Labs "M" Cream sitting in my product cabinet for a couple of months. I never touched it. It was in reserve for a special time of emergency.

I read all about this product online, and this line caught my eye "The first cosmetic product that contains stem cells from the rare Uttweiler Spatlauber Swiss apple, SO RARE THAT ONLY THREE TREES REMAIN IN EXISTENCE!?


What? Only three trees? I had to, as my grandmother says "go to The Google" and look up this magic tree. On Google it said there were 20 in existence and that Michelle Obama is a fan of this magical ingredient for keeping wrinkles at bay. 20? Well, that's rare but it's not THREE. I was a little nervous to open this jar when it was 3. I mean, what if I totally fell in complete obsession with this potion and then it became extinct? I've been trying to be a little more careful about opening my heart and getting hurt by love. What if this cream lead me on? Pretend to heal and replenish my skin, got me all glowing and healthy...And then left me? Hmmm? Hmmm, what then?
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GEL MANICURES! I LOVE THEM, BEEN BUYING GIFT CERTIFICATES AS PRESENTS!

Mon, 11/28/2011 - 12:59pm
  • Mondays With Meg
  • Body

gelmanicureMeg here! Writing from The Big Apple, going to attend The Gotham Awards tonight where I will be sure to ask the A-List what beauty items/gifts they're buying for the holidays. Yes, Roxy will be with me as well. I'll be sure to ask her too.

A funny thing happened to me Saturday in the city. I went to go get a manicure, because it had been Three Weeks. Yes, you read that right. My color was still on, although starting to grow out at the nail base. I only had 2 slight chips. I had to request something new and exciting, I had to request my NATURAL nails be cut and then filed. Cut!! My natural nails needed to be cut and filed! As a nervous Nellie disgusting nail-biter, I thought I would have a better chance seeing Jesus then seeing this day! How did it happen? Let me tell you all about my new obsession, Gel manicures. The love affair started in August and I need you to run through my nail history time line to understand.

10 years-18 years old: Natural, painted still always biting.

18 years-33 years old:
Acrylic Tips, sometimes silk. Always on. Would take periodic brakes because my real nails underneath would a. either get too thin or b. become discolored and disgusting. This vicious cycle would keep me running to get the fake nails put on to hide the damage I had done to the real ones.

34 years old:
Still Acrylic tips but only for television or special occasions. Trying to get the real ones to just look decent.

35 years old: Try the new "gel/shellac" craze. Do it consistently. From August to this past Sat. (end of November) giving my nails a break with just a standard manicure with regular color right now. I'm just doing this break because I heard it is important to take a break every now and again so your nails don't get too thin. I have yet to experience this, decided to err on the side of caution.

What is the difference? Just like in a regular manicure, cuticles are pushed back and nails are filed. Nails are also buffed, so the gel adheres more strongly. Next a coat of gel “polish” is applied to each nail, then drying time under a UV Light in between. A second coat is applied and then allowed to dry again. This process is repeated about 3 times on each hand.

I first tried this because I would be traveling to South America for 10 days of an extreme schedule. Left little time for sleep, never mind time to tend to my nails myself and I didn't know if there would be any nail salons on the itinerary. Guess what? No nail salons on the itinerary Kiss.  I would not stop raving about how awesome my nails were holding up to my friend Jo Piazza. I couldn't believe how they looked salon perfect even after rigorous hikes and packing. I thought I was driving her crazy until we got back to the States and she sent me a tweet "Loving my Gel Manicure that @Megsmakeup insisted I get!" I had converted her. It makes sense. Jo is flying around the country doing all sorts of TV interviews for her book "Celebrity Inc" so she needs camera ready nails without a lot of maintenance.

The color that I've been picking pretty consistently for this season is "Asphalt" a super deep charcoal. My nails look amazing for two weeks, if I push (and no, they don't look "amazing" at 3 weeks but still decent) I can get 3 weeks. This is great for a busy person that needs great looking hands.

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NAPOLEON PERDIS! LUMINOUS LIP VEILS & LUXE LIPGLOSS COLLECTION! TOTAL DEAL!

Mon, 11/21/2011 - 1:20pm
  • Mondays With Meg
  • Lips

napoleonperdisluxelipsMeg here (shocker, I know.) I've been crazier then usual. I'm working on a pretty exciting project that will hopefully be finished soon! Why is it that everything takes so much longer then we anticipate? I'm not exactly known for my patience. I just got back to LA and I am heading back to NYC Friday. I'm pretty sure TSA at both airports know me personally by now.

When your schedule is full, the holidays become more of a hinder then a help. One of the nice things about being single is you don't have to answer to anyone. This Thanksgiving, Megsroomie and I are treating ourselves to a fabulous and decadent dinner...At a wonderful restaurant! Yup, a holiday to us is not making dishes or washing them! To each is own. Christmas? I'm not stressing about that either.

I am looking forward to heading to Miami to ring in the New Year. That's where I'm going all out! I have high hopes for 2012. The only Sugar Plum Fairies dancing in my head are actually glistening on my lips! Like how I did that? See, the whole "Sugar Plum" bit? Kiss

Napoleon Perdis Luminous Lip Veil in "Sugar Plum"
has made it to the purse! Once an item makes it to my purse, it's made the cut. I absolutely love the shade. It's a slight, subtle (perfect for winter) hint o' plum. It shimmers, is not sticky, smells delicious, has great staying power and dare I say it? Looks natural!

Napoleon Perdis products really hit it out of the park and this gloss is no exception. I also love the applicator brush. It allows for precision rather then those smudgey wand tips that just crush the color on.

While I'm over the hustle of the holidays, I'm never over the holiday gift sets. The values are a total steal! While I am loving my Sugar Plum that doesn't mean I'm a one color girl. EVERY SHADE (how often can you say that?!) of Napoleon Perdis's New Limited Edition for holiday Luxe Lip Gloss Collection is FABULOUS!
I am giddy looking at the different shades. Five sexy, completely wearable shades for $39!! A $100 value.

You're paying about $8 a gloss for a high-end $20 one. That can even turn this Scrooge downright jolly!! The colors are superb and you cannot go wrong! If you need gifts or stocking stuffer's break the set up! I am a generous lady and I am not parting with mine. Nope. I dare you to get this and hand it off. It just is not going to happen.

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DOESN'T THIS BEDROOM SCREAM ROMANCE? YOU'LL LAUGH, I PROMISE YOU!

Mon, 09/19/2011 - 6:50pm
  • Mondays With Meg
  • Miscellaneous



Meg here! I know New York City is not exactly an inexpensive place to live. I did it when I was 18 and I go to the city constantly. I feel like whenever I walk down the street I spent $200 and I can't even figure out what on. I grab a coffee, a sandwich, maybe take a cab and there it goes. Slight exaggeration but only slight. I know the rents are sky high as well and I'm not hating on Zach. I just could not stop laughing at Zach's decorating skills. My favorite part of this video? When Zach tells me "I'm not much of an interior decorator."

Who is Zach? Zach is a sweet, single 26 year old professional living in Manhattan. He lives with the friend that I was staying with for New York Fashion Week. You can hear my friend dying laughing while filming this with my iphone.

It was a quick video, but it died before I could show you all the piece de resistance, Zach's Budweiser Beer cardboard box shelf. Now that was something to see!

I haven't been 26 for quite a while and I haven't dated a 26 year old ever so I might be a little bit out of the loop. I know we have a lot of younger Meghead's on here so maybe you all can chime in, is this pretty much what you're expecting from your young, single boyfriend? Again, not being bitchy to Zach, he was a good sport but this room reminded of the caves they showed in Kabul while searching for Osama.

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THE LIP FOR SPRING! MAYBELLINE'S COLOR SENSATIONAL CORAL LUSTER! AMAZING AND $7.50!

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 6:55am
  • Mondays With Meg
  • Lips

Meg here! Last night had me sitting up close at the Custo Bacelona show. The models strutted down the catwalk in their gorgeous frocks but me, being me, was looking at one thing! Their faces!

I mean, these girls are going to be hard to emulate really anywhere else. That's unless your father was a professional basketball player and your mother a ballerina, see? The odds aren't really that high. It's hard to be a 6'2 size zero.

The good news? The beauty was attainable. Not only was it attainable but it is affordable! I saw a lot of fresh, pink and dewey cheeks coming down the runway. The lips were kissable and had a gorgeous shine. How did Cust Barcelona pull off such a glow? Who was the wizard behind the curtain?

Guess who pushed her way back stage demanding "I must meet the makeup genius!?" I'll give you one guess. Soon I was brought to Gato, while he did not have a magic wand, he did have a Maybelline makeup kit case.  Gato is Maybelline's principle makeup artist from Spain. Yes, the looks I was drooling over on the runway were done by Maybelline. The same Maybelline that's in every drugstore in every city in every state. Finally, something everyone can do without needing to sell the farm!

"Women need to create a beautiful face, I always use Maybelline's Dream Liquid Mousse." Gato told me. I was very happy to hear this as it's under $10!

I had to know, what was the gorgeous lip I was seeing? I pressed Gato. I was not walking away without knowing what I was going to have to make a CVS run for. What is the #1 lip color for Spring?

"I was using Color Sensational High Shine in Coral Luster." Gato then pulled the actual tube out, flashed the 840 tube and declared it "the secret of the makeup!"

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ONA SPA! RADIANCE TREATMENT!

Mon, 08/29/2011 - 11:39am
  • Mondays With Meg
  • Body

onaspaMeg here! Lately I been a little lagging. I actually have been pretty good lifestyle wise so I don't know what's going on. Maybe it's knowing that summer is on its way out but I've been pretty lethargic. I don't know what is growing (there shouldn't be much growing in L.A.) but it seems every single year I get sick as September rolls in. It's not a real "sick" but more like an allergy sick. I just feel like I need to go somewhere and drain.

Have I ever tried alternative medicine? Whiskey for a tooth ache but who hasn't?Wink

No, I have not. I know that people swear by it and I'm open. I did a little research. Drew Barrymore, Reese Witherspoon, Cameron Diaz indulge in a hidden nook called Ona Spa. It's not the normal rub and knead type of place. The techniques are all based in ancient wellness philosophy. It's name Ona=Good. I really wanted to feel good, I booked myself the Ona Radiance treatment.

I figured that's kind of like going to the doctor. I mean, if your doctor served you a delish tea when you walked into a tranquil lobby and handed you a fluffy robe. Why don't they do that? I'd always go to the doctor then!

"Your liver and your spleen are not communicating." Sherrie, the acupuncturist said. I had just finished filling out a lengthy medical history form. Sherrie spoke to me about all of my ailments, and diet and vices. I'm surprised she still wanted to talk to me. I warned her "Sherrie, I am the most unhealthy person Ona has ever seen." I was about to change that statement when I read an actor from "Two and A Half Men" frequents Ona. However, that actor is Jon Cryer so I'm sticking with my statement.

Sherrie knows her business and while she is not a psychic, she could be. Just by touching my "wiry pulse" she was able to pin point trouble spots that I had forgotten to mention.

I've never had acupuncture but since we've already established my best friend is named Botox, the needles were not going to be a problem. Sherrie got to work "clearing up my blockages." Did I think this was going to work? No. I thought it was mumbo jumbo.

I am now a believer. I felt "something" it was a little trippy, I have to be honest. When she removed the needles from in between the webbing of my thumb and pointing finger I thought they were still in there. Apparently that's an area that controls all sorts of points throughout our bodies. The next time you have a headache, squeeze there!

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OLIVER IFERGAN ATELIER! DAY AT THE BEACH SEA SPRAY!

Mon, 08/22/2011 - 3:10pm
  • Mondays With Meg
  • Hair

dayatthebeachMeg hair! L.A. is full of a bunch of Peter Pans. I like that. I like that there's a whole child like way about it. It would make sense in a land where many people play pretend to earn a living, dressing up would be common place.

I was invited to a pool party this past Saturday and the invitation read "Shipwrecked! Costumes a must! Nautical/Beach Themes only." You think I would have thought of my costume before the night before but, actually you wouldn't think that. You were right.

There are many perks to living with Megsroomie. One of them is that she's very "sporty." God no, I don't mean I want to go running or biking or anything like that with her. I mean she has things I would never have! She has props!

Meg: Lisa, I have to go to this party and it is a theme pool party. I found a red one piece bathing suit. Any ideas?

Megsroomie: (I swear she doesn't even blink or look up) Oh yeah, go into the closet near the front door. I used to be a lifeguard. There's the lifeguard rescue float and lifeguard shorts. Use them

Done and done. But not. I had to Google "Baywatch Images" to complete my look. I needed authentic looking "beach hair." Much like Megsroomie having every useful prop under the sun, I have every useful product.
baywatchhair

Oliver Ifergan Atelier's Day At The Beach was pulled out of my arsenal. My hair doesn't look fabulous just dried from the shower, I'm going to need some product in there to make it look good. Those beach days where you get a little lift and volume from the ocean water? Yes, it's the sea salt. Just like it healing cuts quicker and being good for your skin, it add the oomph that your hair needs.

Being in West Hollywood and this beach themed party being a pool party, I was lacking the main component of an actual ocean. No problem. This is the land of pretend but we've also got fake pretty down pat as well! I would fake it until I make it!

Oliver Ifergan Atelier's Day At The Beach is full of seal salt (did you know seal salt is also a major frizz buster? I know! You learn everything here! It's amazing!) I sprayed all over my damp hair and then added a blast from my hairdryer. Voila! I was now ready to go mimic the woman that keep our beaches safe. Although it may have helped to actually watch an episode of Baywatch. I never have in my entire life. My other roomie said "Meg, you're not going to actually pretend to ever save anyone. They don't do that. They catch jewel thieves." OK. I can do that. I love jewelry.

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