Meg here. I know it is "Hump day Hair Day" and we are only sort of deviating off topic. I really, really want you to get humped! (Gram log off now-wait, what am I saying? Gram had SIX KIDS, I think she has her "hump" down pat.)
I'm sure you have your hump down pat too! Some of you are so fit and do yoga and pilates and all that exercise! I bet some of you are the Cirque du Soleil of humps! Yet, it still isn't working. All that amazing acrobotics and no one worth experiencing your double, upside down plie squat with. I mean, what? You're doing this for your health? HA! Pour that second pinot babe because we've all been there.
I'm really lucky. I am. I have a super inflated self worth and I think I'm pretty great. Before you get all Mrs. Judge Face, you have to understand it's not ego. It is survival. It's a tough world out there and if you don't value yourself than no one else is going to. Value yourself.
Everyone is looking for a "free ride" and I make it quite clear. This ride ain't free. I think I am pretty top shelf and you know what happens when you think you're top shelf? You get top shelf treatment. You get respect and great guys and no I am not immune, every once in a while a house drink will get by but I can tell you this. It's happened maybe 3 times in 23 years of dating. So I sort of know what I'm talking about here. Plus, you should see my jewelry and handbags.
Have I ever lost my mind and become the crazy bitch worthy of one of those prison inmate shows? Yup. I own it. Behind every crazy woman is there a man that made her that way? Here! Here!
You are allowed to go insane when pushed and "have your moment." You're allowed to cry and freak out and have a meltdown. You're not allowed to keep it going. Get it together. One night I was home here in Hollywood and I swear to God, I'm just the neighbor. I heard this crying chick howl and cry and smash against my neighbor's door. It was just awful. She was screaming about him and what he had done. She was a mess. Not one you wanted to help. It had gone beyond. After 30 minutes, I had it. I went to my door and yelled "OMG. I'm nice and even I would break up with you! Get some respect. Go home! You're proving him right. I'm only the neighbor and I hate you right now!"
Don't be that girl.
Jo Piazza is one of my bestfriends. I love her. We have zero bullshit between us and while we will help each other, we don't lie to each other.
These are common phrases "Oh boy, how did that go over?" "I'm sure everyone was drunk and you're fine." "Fair. I mean, that's fair." "Oh no, not good, you sure you hit the send button on that? Oh shit." My favorites "You have your lawyer's cell number, right?" And "I mean, no. Technically, I don't think that's illegal."
So no judgement coming from this vaginal court. We've all danced the crazy samba.
The difference between Jo and I is that Jo is crazy successful. I really only look impressive on Google and only if you don't go past page 2. Jo has done more fantastic things in her young years then most people do in 5 lifetimes. She is strong. She is funny, she is beautiful and smart and so accomplished and she can unknowingly make you feel like a loser in five minutes. She is is no way trying to. It's just hard to measure yourself up against someone that is enormously great at everything. She's written books. She's on TV. She is a big deal. My penis just shrank and I don't even have one. As a woman with a healthy self esteem-I look up to Jo. I aspire to be more like her. I am a lot like her (we're both natural brunettes.) We also are use to making things happen for ourselves and getting our way and working hard and controlling our futures. We are the new men.
So what happens when you're not waiting for Prince Charming to ride in on a white horse to save you? I'll tell you. The power shifts.
Like a lot of us, you're capable and smart and you just need LOVE REHAB. Jo has again successfully done everything right. She found a great guy whose penis only rises at her greatness (you're welcome B.) B, is her man and he knows he's got a keeper. And I'm just glad Jo never "dumbed herself down." She found someone that could keep up with her. And if something were to ever change, if Jo were ever not happy. I know everything would be O.K. because ultimately, Jo is her own white horse.
You need to be your own white horse.
I get my nails done. I pay for hair extensions, I spend a poor countries GNP on my appearance. That's OK. I'm a girl. I like to. I also like to read the business journal and know what's going on in the world and make up my own mind. Pretty outside is only as pretty on the inside. People love "crazy" they're bored with "stupid."
That said, when I've lost my mind and been really upset and rationalized "Well, you only have a problem if you're having a cocktail before 10am if you've slept the night before." Yeah, I've made huge mistakes with a broken heart. Because I'm human.
Before we delve into Urban Decay, I just want to say "THANK YOU!!"If you were able to donate to AMANDA FOUNDATION or prayed for Banner (we renamed him Grimmy-he's a gremlin.) or prayed for us, or sent your positive energy and thoughts or hugged your own pets harder that night-IT WORKED! What looked like a serious surgery, became a miracle. I believe it was all of you and your love. Once Grimmy went down on the operating table the tumor just came right off! Like it was a zit and not a tumor! How did that happen? That wasn't suppose to happen. It was suppose to be a major surgery. Instead it was like a giant blackhead removal. You know what happened? I do. You guys happened. Your heart sent out love and we got it! THANK YOU! Not to get weird (but to get weird) all of the positive energy hit the universe and it got sent to someone in The Universe's Executive team and it went like this.
Universe Management: Hi! Sorry to bother you but it seems like we have a situation on our hands.
Universe: Egypt? Kabul? Oh, let me guess? It's that damn Al Qaeda again? What have they done now? How much time is this one going to take? I have lunch in 15. Can we make this quick?
Universe Management: We got this whole "positive energy of hope and love surge." I wouldn't normally bring this to your attention, but it's out of Los Angeles and that usually never happens unless Ryan Gosling is in town. He's not. It's about this hairless, tumor ridden dog. So strange, I know. Can we make his surgery work out? The natives are getting restless and we don't have a Gosling movie slated until 2014 so we need to do something?
Universe: I need a Subway 6 inch. I'm starving. Shut them up. Cure the damn dog.
The next thing the surgical team knew, the tumor almost fell off Grimmy's ear. You can say I'm crazy (you wouldn't be unique) but that wasn't suppose to happen-I thank you. I thank The Universe's Management and I thank The Universe. I also give huge thanks to The Amanda Foundation.
More than that, Grimmy thanks you most. The donations poured in to save him and I am humbled. THANKS MEGHEADS! (also, thank you Ryan Gosling for not being in Los Angeles this week.)
Urban Decay I also thank! Not only does Tammy bring us awesome products but PLEASE REMEMBER THIS WHEN YOU HAVE A CHOICE TO BUY- URBAN DECAY IN 10 YEARS HAS NEVER REFUSED TO DONATE TO AN ANIMAL CAUSE THAT I HAVE ASKED FOR THEIR SUPPORT FOR. NEVER. That's ridiculously generous and insane and they ALWAYS HELP.
Our dollars decide who succeeds and this company has heart. When you love what you do you give love back. Urban Decay has always been at the cutting edge of beauty and they are beautiful inside and out.
A lot of you got a build your own palette from Urban Decay! Their shadows are heavily pigmented, colors to die for and blend like a dream! They're featured in every top make up artist's kit and their letting you build your own with a palette and UNIVERSALLY FLATTERING SHADE!
So again, we reach out to the universe. I'm sure he enjoyed his Subway and this was a no brainer for him.
Meg here and let's think of this quote "You can judge the morality of a nation by the way society treats it's animals"-Mahatma Gandhi
Instead of being our best friends protector's we fail them constantly. My heart is broken as I type this. I wish I were the type that could not be effected. I'm not. I'm tough on the outside but a gdamn softie inside and yes, I shouldn't type this, but if you were to message me that you were "in trouble" I will definitely help you.
I don't understand how people are cruel to animals. I like animals better than people. They love us. Their commodity is love. That's it. They don't care "who you know" or "what you do." They just want to love you. The only ulterior motive is to get a tummy scratch.
L.A. is absolutely in dire straits with the overcrowding of pounds and of morons that insist on buying dogs. 50% of the animals in the pounds are pure breed designer dogs that have been "surrendered." by their owners. Guess what? Due to L.A.'s budget some have 5 days to find a home or else they're "euthanized." I have to imagine many of the owners think that "euthanize" means vacation and not murder because why would these people do this? They did it because they're fucking awful (sorry Gram.)
I went down to San Pedro Harbor shelter today. It is the same place I rescued Chopper from back in November, I couldn't believe how many gorgeous, adorable pupies were there. I didn't want a gorgeous puppy. I wanted an old, sick and extremely unattractive dog. I wanted the dog that life spat out. I wanted the dog that everyone said "No Chance" to. I wanted to show that dog that there still is humanity in this world and EVERYONE HAS A CHANCE.
Living in L.A. is a funny thing, sometimes you get so sick of everyone placing value on the outer-you have to remind yourself that the "outer" is just that. It's nothing. Rescuing the "under dog" speaks more to my soul than the pretty.
So I rescued "Banner." He's old and the shelter wrapped him in a blanket so I wouldn't see how bad off he was. The shelter also told me "no returns." Like I would return him to death? Once I pulled back the blanket I saw a terrified creature, one life gave up on. Banner was covered in sores and a huge tumor and still looked at me with hope. HOPE!
And I'm going to fight for Banner because he represents so much, he's like the Ellis Island of dogs. "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free." At the end of the day, don't we all want someone in our corner that will stand up for us?
Banner has his tumor removal surgery tomorrow morning. If you have $5 it will help. If everyone that read this site gave $5 we could help a lot of Banner's http://amandafoundation.org/donate-now/ It costs $1,200 to make Banner whole and THANK YOU AMANDA FOUNDATION for not turning your back on him!
Meg here! It has been said that women eat 7 POUNDS of lipstick in their lifetimes. As with all things, I tend to binge so I can safely assume I've eaten 30 pounds of lipstick thus far in life.
If you're going to be snacking on your lip products then I guess Juice Beauty Reflecting Gloss would be your kale. I mean, they sell Juice Beauty at Whole Foods so you know it's organic. I'm not suggesting that the next time your tummy growls you try to suck this gloss down, I'm just pointing out that if you do indeed ingest it, it's not going to hurt you.
I try to pare down my summer looks. Today was a sweltering 100 degrees in Hollywood. I'm looking for lightness and not a lot of goop to melt on my face. That said, I'm a busy lady with an active social life and I'm not going to run around town unkept. You know the second you do that you end up running into an exboyfriend or TMZ. Side note, I go out all the time and have never been on TMZ. I really need to up my game.
So many lipglosses are sticky and your hair gets all caught up in them and are filled with petroleum. The petroleum will end up drying your lips out. Not good.
Karen and Julie are really, really healthy. They love to eat well and exercise and they're really nice. They're not at all annoying if you want to have 3 double vodka tonics and smoke a pack of Marlboro's. They just love when I do that! (Side note, they threaten me and suggest I seek counseling but other than that, they're super chill.)
Since being well and active and you know that whole "staying alive" bit is important to them, it makes sense that they're going to come up with not only a great gloss but a healthy one. (whenever I point out that the "cool kids" are always the first ones to leave the party it kind of falls on deaf ears with those two.) Anyhow, Since they want to stay in this "life party" a long time they've gotten down pat how to do it and look beautiful all the while.
This gloss is a "combination of anti-oxident rich berries, minerals and sweet agave that will wrap your lips in brilliant color." People claim it smells good. My sniffer isn't the best so I have no idea but I know it tastes delish and lasts a long time. It also makes my lips a gorgeous sheen.
Meg here! I work with a lot of different cosmetic companies and one of the messages I try to drill into their heads is "MAKE THE PRODUCT PRETTY. MAKE THE PACKAGE BEAUTIFUL."
You can have the best product in the entire world but I'm not putting it on my vanity if it's going to bring the look of my powder room down. Pretty products are my downfall but decor is my passion! I spend every free dollar on end tables and vases. You think I'm going to bring down the glam factr of my house with an unsightly tube? Never.
You think in an aisle of hundreds of choices, I'm going to pick up your lipgloss/bodywash/shampoo/compact to even give it a chance if I'm not excited to grab it? Nope.
So yes, it does matter the most what works ON THE INSIDE but if I don't believe you can make your package beautiful then I don't believe you can make me beautiful and that's a real problem.
If you want to be looked at then you have to make it into my shopping cart. Getting into my cart is 90% of the battle.
I mean, you're in the BEAUTY BUSINESS. This should be common sense. It's the same as "It's not your personality that he's going to notice across a crowded room." It's a creepy, superficial world out there and no one is going to want to see what's on the inside if the outside isn't cute.
MOR Cosmetics doesn't need this explained. They can teach this pretty confidently. MOR consistently delivers beautiful products, both inside and outside. Today we're going to point to MOR Hand Creme with Black Currant Iris.
Sure, Keri Hand Lotion may work but do you really want that pump sitting on your desk at work? Or on your vanity nightstand? Are you a chic woman or well, what exactly does that scream? Practical? Who wants to be called that. That's one step below NORMAL (I shudder.)
Stacy B here! I cut almost 6 inches of hair off this week. Just throwing that out there. A lot of people would have a tough time with that but my hair grows so fast, I'm sure by fall I'll be able to cut another 6 inches off and not even bat an eye. It's been long for so long, I needed a change!
It's actually been a pretty significant week of change for me. All good, too! Spring is really here, it's been warm, sunny, happy and colorful around here. People are in good moods, work has been less stressful, and my hair is much easier to manage now. I had a very good shopping day with my husband on our 7th anniversary at an outlet mall near us and have been wearing new clothes every day since. And, I lost another pound! Must be all those walks we've been taking with our kids after dinner now that it's still warm and light later in to the evening. I live on a huge hill, so this is not an easy walk!
Let's see....new clothes, new hair, new weight, new accessories...what's left? Of course...new makeup! Why not? I have to round out the look, right? It's spring, so I'm into light, shimmery, easy to apply makeup. What better than a fun new gloss shade that I can easily toss in my new bag as I slip on my cute new wedges and head out the door...without a coat!!
I stuck with a trusted drug store brand that fit easily into the last bit of my 'new spring look' budget, NYX. I have always had decent luck with them and their prices are so good, I can't pass up the opportunity to try something new. This week I've been into their Mega Shine Lip Gloss. My go to color has been Vanilla, a 'shimmering midtone beige'. The name is odd to me, it's not vanilla flavored and it's not off-white or a vanilla color. But I guess that doesn't really matter since it's a great color for me!
It's a hint pink, a bit peach, and a tad brown. My wheelhouse. Nothing red in there, nothing orange, or anything that would make me look like I kissed a pumpkin. It's not very sticky or tacky, although I still try hard not to let the wind blow my hair into my mouth, it would still get stuck if that happened. It's not the best brand for sticking around through a meal, but it does stay put for the first few hours I'm at my office. Usually I just have to reapply after lunch and I'm covered for the day.
I love layering glosses, it's like multiple colors in one. I can layer it over a darker shade for more dramatic sparkle, or a lighter peach for more of a sunkissed look. Wearing it alone makes my natural lip color shine. I have not noticed any drying out of my lips but I do always put some balm on in the morning before I apply any lipstick or gloss. It goes on really smoothly and is easy to apply if you don't have a mirror because the color is not too heavily pigmented.
Meg here! Guess what? I didn't graduate from medical school while I went missing. You know I am a contributor for other publications right? Well, because the police may be reading this I will only say that this may or may not have happened. If you really need to know whether this happened then I am happy to report I have a fantastic attorney and you can forward all inquiries to him.
Boss lady: We have a tip that Kim Kardashian has checked into Cedar's Sinai and is about to give birth. Can you get in?
I may do some undercover work from time to time.
Me: Well, I have a lab coat and my eyeglasses. I can put my hair in a bun and try to work my way in. I'll give it a shot.
Boss lady: Great! Get in there and see what's going on.
The entire time I'm in the car in my undercover garb I am praying that I don't get into the hospital and someone has a heart attack. Someone spots "Dr. O'Brien" and yells out "Don't worry! There's Dr. in the house. She'll know what to do!" I am well versed on how much botox I put into my face. The only medical emergency I feel I am able to consult on is "crows feet" filler.
I actually have a decent track record on getting some celeb scoop but TMZ had me more than beat on this story. Did I get in? Hell yeah! Perhaps.
My point being that in life, a lot of us have to play "double duty." We have to play different roles and wear different hats, to succeed in life you have to be more than a one trick pony. If I have to do that as a person just to thrive, than you can bet I expect the same from my products.
Airelle Berrimatrix Eye & Lip Treatment with Hyaluronic Acid is not only my new secret weapon. It's also Jenna Elfman's, Denise Richards and the cast of "The Voice" their "must have." It's being used by all the top Hollywood makeup artists. This gem is dual duty. It reduces the puff under your eyes with one swipe. We all know I have a battle with cigarettes and swipes around the delicate mouth area fill in "smoker lines."
Airelle's founder is a dermatology expert. Kasey is from Maine. Everyone knows that blueberries are the highest in anti-aging anti-oxidents and Maine harvests world famous blueberries. Realizing the natural benefits, Kasey began painstakingly researching the most natural concoction to give women fantastic results.
I absolutely love that I have this in my purse for on the go, easy fixes and it's packaged so it will last me a long time. The bottle is compact with a screw off lid and a roller ball applicator. No mess. No fuss. No drip. Swipe and go!
"Powerful target treatment for trouble areas. Designed to firm and smooth the delicate skin around the eyes and lips. Fine lines and puffy eyes are improved with roller ball applicator. Hyaluronic Acid helps texture appear noticeably tighter, softer and smoother after applying. Use twice daily for best results."
While not playing Doctor (so much more fun as a kid or naughty adult by the way.) I was playing another fantasy role. I call this role "responsible." I'm trying to get really great at it and I have proof here of me doing exactly what I promised. My main gay and I spent hours pouring over make up point redemptions. We got a ton done and I hope you ladies love your goodies. A sincere "THANK YOU" for being so cool with me and my apology.
We have really great items going out and I do appreciate you all cutting me slack!
I did have the lab coat in my closet so when Boss Lady called I was ready to maybe go undercover. To be fair, I have more costumes than Liberace in my closet. You never know what the I.R.S is going to do these days and I see how much publicity Amanda Bynes has been getting for her wigs. A smart girl is always stocked, ready to go incognito. "On the run" is the new black.
MEG here! A ton has been going on since we last spoke but first I want to deeply and truly apologize. I will update tomorrow with actual pics of me putting the products into envelopes. I swear, I finally have amazing and great stuff for each pack! I will be going as far back as A YEAR! so you a lot of you will be re-gifted. FOR FREE!
I'm sorry it has taken so long. There were a lot of factors, however the worst one is me. I do this really stupid thing that when I get overwhelmed I hide and that is totally wrong and quite frankly, I'm an asshole for doing it. I have someone to help me now and I swear on everything that you will be rewarded for sticking with me for when I sucked. I going to try really hard to suck less. You may actually be happy, like when my parents were really bad parents I would get $50 for "lunch money" and then I was much more likely to forgive them. I'm doing the same bribery mentality here and I hope you like your lunch.
If you think you're mad at me then you should talk to the I.R.S. They're like, beyond at me.
WTF HAPPENED? LIFE. Honestly, life happened. I got really busy with work and life drama and at the end of the day I was tired. I know, it seems ridiculous but that's the plain truth. After writing to pay my bills (for other publications) and talking on the phone all day pushing cosmetic companies, I was exhausted and I wasn't fun. I didn't want to write more. I wanted a xanax and to go to bed. So there it is. I am a lazy mofo.
YOU'RE BETTER NOW? I think so. A lot of stuff has happened over the last 6 months and I'm happy to say, it's for the better. I have a great new addition, a fantastic right hand "main gay." that is going to be able to make sure I don't screw stuff up on the site. Financially, I'm in a decent spot and can now afford someone to help me.
Please know that I'm going to totally make more than right and the comments will show that as soon as the packs start coming in!
Stacy B here! I'm still wary of this whole 'spring' thing. New Englanders out there, you know what I mean. Spring happens in odd fashion around here so it takes a few weeks for you to really let go of that 'but it really COULD snow one more time!' feeling and actually do spring stuff, like change over your closet.
I did that this week and it was equally exciting and depressing. I love having new clothes in my closet, even if they are already mine. It's nice to have something else to look at, another choice to ponder and more brightly colored options. However, I was VERY pregnant, and very post-partum last spring so I didn't really wear any of my spring/summer stuff until about July when I went back to work. Even then, I was still losing the baby weight so I stuck to my more flow-y shirts and dresses and kept it neutral with some fun new accessories. Now, I'm seeing all these clothes that I can fit into (yay!) and they are 2 years old!! Luckily my style is fairly classic and I don't overindulge in trends unless I see long-term potential, but still, it was a lot of outdated stuff!
And with two kids, my clothing budget is nearly zero! Spring panic! Luckily, I got a nice first quarter bonus from work and have been promised an outlet shopping and dinner date this weekend for my 7th wedding anniversary. I can't wait to restock my closet. And the best thing is, **bragging alert** ....I feel pretty good this year since I am officially 4 pounds below my pre-baby weight. And not my younger son, my OLDER son! That's right, with hard work, low calories, healthy recipes, and pinterest workouts I can do at home, I am under both pre-baby weights and only 3 pounds over my WEDDING weight. Let's get shopping!!!
Another thing that inspires spring panic? Besides bathing suits in a month (let's just skip right over that. I look good, but not THAT good!) is open toed shoes!! It's been a long, cold winter and my piggies are in rough shape. Neglected, dry, wintery and bare toes. I can't get a pair of peep-toes to even look my way. For Mother's Day last Sunday, I'm got a nice spa pedicure at a place in town but my toes are so bad, I had to start prepping them at least a week before!
I found this great peppermint foot scrub from Kiss My Face and have been using it every other day for the past week or so. It's been a big help! It smells SO good, which is not surprising. I've tried a few other Kiss My Face products to mixed reviews but the one thing I've always said is how good they all smell. This is a true peppermint smell and it fills the bathroom up and makes it smell like a really nice spa.
Stacy B here! Bangers and Mash! Fish and Chips! Jolly good time! Throwing out some British phrases because I just got back from London! What a city, and what a trip we had. Girls only, so my husband and boys stayed home. I had 5 days of quiet, making my own decisions, peeing by myself, waking up naturally and not by sticky hands touching my face, and carrying a small bag with ONLY my stuff in it! It was great. But I did miss those little buggers.
It was a rough week, we were there to watch my cousin run the London Marathon, and after what we went through with Boston, we were nervous and emotional. We wanted to unplug the day we got there and just enjoy, but with the lockdown and the manhunt and news happening so fast, were glued to our TV or iPad for a lot of the day. We did our best to get out during the days and walk, shop, sightsee and wander but as soon as we got home, it was BBC and iPad time.
We tried to enjoy while keeping our thoughts on those left at home in Boston. I think we succeeded, we had a great time and met a lot of locals that had so much support for their neighbors across the pond. And my cousin ran a very emotional PR in the marathon (personal record for those not in the running world) and funished in 3:53. Her fastest time by more than 10 minutes. WOW!
I was proud of myself for being able to fit all my stuff for 5 whole days in a small suitcase and carry-on that was pretty easy to manage while taking the Tube all over the place. I'm a great packer and I love to find small products in the drugstore that don't take up much room but still pack a punch. I hate packing shaving cream because I am always afraid the can is going to explode in the plane and get shaving cream all over my stuff. Which has happened to me once. Not fun. I had it in a plastic travel bag, but it still leaked all over everything.
This trip, I went with a shave cream that came in a tube, not a can. I brought Kiss My Face Moisture Shave in Key Lime. Yes, it smells that good. This is in a tube that's like a lotion containter, not a steal can that can't bend or move in the suitcase. I got there, unpacked, and no product explosion incidents!
Plus, it was not a big tube, so it didn't take up as much room or weigh as much. The formula is so good for you, no parabens, gluten free, no animal testing, all essential, natural oils, ingredients I recognize and can pronounce and nothing artificial. Good for my suitcase, good for me. And it really does smell so yummy.
It moisturizes, so I didn't have to pack a huge tub of lotion. I wouldn't completely stop moisturizing, but at least for my trip, I didn't have to worry too much. It held enough skin essentials in it that for the few days I was there, I didn't need to layer on multiple products.