BILLY JEALOUSY! SALAD DAYS BODY SCRUB! GET MEN TO WANT SEX WITH YOU IN THE SHOWER!
Nick Stern here! Meg's Man roomie, the one she makes write for her! Happy Belated New Year Everyone!!! I love the beginning of a new year because it's the time when people are the most positive about change. They vow to achieve some resolution that they lacked the previous year promising to lose that extra weight or quit that bad habit. As the clock struck midnight, I certainly felt a strong bond to my fellow human knowing that every year this time we as a race make that universal goal of being better...THIS YEAR IS MY YEAR! Then I woke up January 1st and threw up...(awesome, thanks for cleaning the toilet bowl-not.)
January 2nd I began my journey of leading a healthier more productive life. My biggest challenge and worst enemy to achieving productive success has been the word that many of us struggle with...procrastination. (I would have gone with "lazy" but sure, we can say procrastination.) I must apologize to Meg and to my growing fan base (thanks for your patience Mom) for being so lackadaisical with my Manly Monday reviews. Meg reminds me constantly how lucky I am to have access to so many amazing products because before her I thought CVS was the only place a man could purchase hygienic items. She's right...I must share these products with the millions of men in the world and show them that there is something more than what's in their local pharmacy (or at the very least the women who can nag influence them:) Oh boy Meg is yelling at me about my deadline....where was I...oh yes...my review. You're "wordy" and take too long to write anything. Get to it Nick. For the Love Of God, we don't have all day.
Today, I will be discussing Billy Jealously Salad Days Body Scrub which I've implemented into my daily shower routine at a reasonable price of $36.00 a bottle. (It's reasonable because I gave it to him for FREE)To be completely honest, I have always used an unscented bar soap but after moving to the dryer LA climate I swapped out the bar soap for a body wash and a manly gray loofah (which hangs among the fifteen pink and purple ones...I have no clue why girls need multiple loofahs but they're like fucking ornaments in our bathroom).Did you just really write "fucking" on Megsmakeup.com? My Grammy reads this!
At first I thought a body scrub named Salad Days was a poor name choice since guys hate eating salads much less putting something called it on their body...but then I realized that it isn't that men don't like salads it's that they don't like admitting that they like salads. Salads are the least manliest food there. Right next to sorbet so men must become closet salad eaters. If I'm out with a girl and she orders a burger I'm ordering a burger extra bloody just to prove a point...but secretly my heart belongs to that baby spinach and beet salad with roasted asparagus. (Really, how is he still single?) Where better to be a closet salad lover than in your own shower. Salad Days Body Scrub has a refreshing scent with hints of mint and citrus that leave your skin smelling fresh without an overpowering perfume smell. The Jojoba Esters gently exfoliates removing dead/dry skin cells and allowing the sage and peppermint to purify and tone the skin underneath.
I noticed that it says you should use it every other day (I'm not really good about reading labels) SHOCKING! but I find it's gentle enough to use every day. Also, the best part is that the smell is so nondescript that you and your man can use it together splitting the cost while both profiting from all the skin renewing benefits. So go out and try it for yourself and remember to tell your man it's okay if he tries a little salad too.
Nick, the review was great but we need a little more info...So, if a lady friend brought this to you as a gift, what type of occasion would this gift be appropriate for? Nick: Not as a gift. Just if she brings it over and puts it in the shower, that would be nice and then I would have sex with her in the shower.
What? What are you talking about? NICK!! It's just nice that a girl would make her presence known with adding things like that into the shower. The thing is, guys get weird if a girl brings them body products to their house, but if she can disguise it as her own thing then that's OK. We secretly try and sniff everything that she leaves anyway.
What about the sex in the shower part? What was that?
I just like to have sex in the shower, but if a girl has established a presence in my shower than I will see her products and think about having sex with her in my shower.
Thanks for that insight Nick. Ladies, if you want to get inside your men's thoughts and brain and sick Nick shower fantasy theory, check out Billy Jealousy Salad Days Body Scrub!
Just post in comments if you're a shower or tub girl and the best one wins Billy Jealousy! Sure to get you some action! (thanks Nick.)
From within bottles, jars, compacts and tubes.*