HOW ABOUT GET A JOURNAL YOU LUNATIC?! AFTER YOU FIND GRAM A "NICE RED LIPSTICK"
And I tagged it "Mondays With Meg" because there was no proper category.
My Grandmother will probably be reading this and follow it up with a concerned phone call and I should ban her from reading the site but I frankly don't know how to. Also, I would feel bad. I can't strip her "concerned Grammy title" from her, she's a staple at the senior center. You can't fight that type of power. I need her old people friends to listen to her. She's a force of nature that one. I just have to deal with the criticism "Oh Meg, I read your post. You must not use the word "suck" it's just awful." Yes Gram. "Also, could you send me a nice red lipstick?"
My Gram cracks me up. She really does. I'm writing this with a true bout of insomnia and for whatever reason my Gram is on my mind. If you're reading this then you definitely do or had a Gram. I mean, you're here right?
I have been absolutely hooked on PBS Masterpiece theater's Downton Abbey. If you have missed it you can watch the episodes on PBS.com, give it a shot. The first 3 are a bit to take in BUT by the end of episode 3 you will be absolutely hooked. Really! It is wonderful. Sex, Lies, Romance and a class warfare with so much aristocracy-you're going to love it! The one character that always gives the best lines, Maggie Smith, she's fabulous and she plays the proper yet always speaks her mind, Gram. I think we all have one of those in our houses!
Out of everyone in my family, probably because I am the much eldest grandchild, I am very close to Gram. We're so different but really a lot alike. If the times were different when she was coming up she'd probably be doing a lot of the same as me. She will deny this.
My Gram (at some point I will scan in pictures) was a true beauty. Emerson College (a prestigious private college outside of Boston) offered my Gram a scholarship to go FOR FREE for dramatic arts. She was gorgeous enough to be a movie star. She came from a poor family and when the scholarship was offered her mother said "Peggy is actress enough, she's going to work."
Actresses were not held in high regard back then in Boston, the kings of Boston were the Kennedy's. Gossip was the married Joe Kennedy had been having an affair with the screen siren Gloria Swanson. Swanson was the leading actress of the day and was giving Hollywood Actresses a bad name back on the Eastern Seaboard. My Great-Grandmother was afraid my Gram would head to Hollywood and become a seductress or a woman of loose morals! How exciting!...Well, she didn't think so.
So Gram never went to Hollywood and she says that was just fine by her. I can't imagine ever having someone else decide my fate but it was a different time and I believe she really didn't want the spotlight. It's not like she doesn't speak her mind (unfortunately.)
My entire life, my Gram has been my champion, this much to parents chagrin. When I would get into trouble and they would want to punish me, my Gram would call them and say "Don't you break her spirit!" It was years later, high school maybe, where I had done more then a bit trouble and my parents would call her back "Thanks for the advice! See what not breaking her did!"
Before any move in my life I call and ask her her thoughts. She always answers "Do you like it? Because if you like it! I love it!"
I may be very wrong (not the first time) but sometimes after I see and hang out with my Gram and she is what she calls "talking rag tag" (ONE GLASS OF CHARDONNAY!)
She'll tell me about the times she had a job and how they didn't give her enough time on her lunch break so when no one was looking she'd climb out the window for more of one. Then I think about about all the times I climbed out my window...
She'll tell funny stories but you know SHE'S HAD ONE GLASS OF WINE so I have to take her to bed.
I don't for a second think that she doesn't love the life she's had and her six children and for that I am sometimes jealous. What if the choice was taken out of our hands? What if you were told "NO" to an opportunity and were forced to find happiness in your own backyard? Could you do it if there were no other option? Would life be easier, would it eradicate all of the complications and bring you back to a sweeter and easier time?
I have no idea, my Gram is 85 years old now. Whenever she speaks of it. "Her mother was right." I wouldn't be here if my Great Grandmother didn't squash the thought. Yet, the thought saddens me. I absolutely hate to see any desire or dream burn out.
I had a business dinner tonight with an older man and he had a philosophy on life I never heard before. "Life is tragedy Megan. It is, we all know the sad ending. The sad ending is we are all going to die. No one escapes. It's the ugly truth. Have comedy, make fun, bring joy, do what you want because we all will stop. From the minute we start, it starts ticking back to our end."
I thanked him for the uplifting conversation and ordered the bread pudding with extra whipped cream, and an Irish coffee (go big or go home.)
Then I though about that stupid speech and I thought about my Gram. I know she loves me and I know I horrify her (she finally told her family I got divorced this year...I got divorced three years ago.)
So I want to know, did you give up on your dreams to become "more practical?" did you stop because someone told you to? Are you doing what you are supposed to be doing? What is the best red lipstick to send my Gram?"
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Comments
i love downton abbey too
My intire life all i wanted to be was a hair dresser (if you dont count princess or whatever it was that min when i was younger) went to school graduated passed the boards.. worked for 3 years... && hated it and decided it gave me to much anxiety.. now iam a waitress and making way more money!! haha do i like the fact that iam 25 working at a pizza joint while all my friends are balls deep in there careers? no BUT iam happy && my skin has cleared up :)
i love this post. seriously. it hits on a lot of things for me...one, i don't have a gram like that :( the one i DO have, well..she leaves a lot to be desired. not that she's not a great person..she is...she volunteers her time to lots of different causes, quilts, she's very active for someone of her age, and she is to be admired for her strength as well as her multitude of talents. the one thing that she is lacking, from my point of view, is that warmth you're supposed to feel for your grandmother. she's not exactly a warm person. me? i'm a cuddle bug and i love to love my loved ones...love to hug, kiss, tell them how much they mean to me, just like to be close, in general. she's the opposite and we're like night and day. heck, the last time she sent me a birthday card, it was a combo birthday/christmas card...and my birthday is in june. not to mention that she signed her full name. not grandma, not a first name..but the full Mrs. title and all. like i wouldn't know who she was!secondly, i have to admit that i'm not living my dream. as a child, i had lots of those..they ranged from teacher to architect to scientist..but most of my life i knew i was meant to be a writer. as a little kid, i said "author", but that's because all of my precious little books always listed the writer by that title: author. oddly enough, i'm a stock broker....and that's something that, although i fell into by sheer luck, is a good profession and takes good care of me. it really IS practical. the little writer inside, though? she still wants to get out..to go outside, look around, and marvel at it all..she wants to be alive in the world....but it's the fear of failing to live a decent life that has always kept me from exploring it.
I always wanted to be a teacher, and I am. I never gave up on my dreams even though lots of friends tried to change my mind. I have tons of red lipsticks I never wear. I should send some to your grandma!
~~Christy
What business was this guy in? Funeral homes? Gees, I am thoroughly depressed right now. I don't think you have to give up all of your dreams to become "more practical". But if your dream is to be a rock star and you can't sing, play an instrument or move like Jagger, maybe you will not see that play out. And it's never to late to get a new dream. I dream that I will wear red lipstick and look good in it. But the nightmarish truth is I can't carry it off and I cannot help Grammie!
I always feel like I'm trying to make everybody happy, but to my parents' credit, they give me a lot of free rein. I'm going to a research university and pursuing a fine arts degree-- not a lot of parents would be supportive of that! I really have everything that I want, and now I just have to decide what I'm going to do with it all. Such is the burden of the entitlement generation. Sometimes I wonder if I haven't been given too much.
hi MEG! Dont worry about your posts, I like em! you just shooting the breeze with us, or rag taggin lol. Is that a pic of the gram?? surely not? if so twoot twoo!
who loves makeup? me me ME!
i believe as you grow up your dreams change. you grow and want different things and that is fine, that is life. not everyone knows what they truely are happy with until they get it. some times things are not always what they are cracked up to be. life is anything you want to make it, it make not be the best choice but as long as you are content and keep the people you hold dear closest to you. send your grams a stila lipstain, it last forever.
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The days start being practical and stop living my dreams is the day thy swipe that last stroke of lipstick on me!Don't die wondering and always believe that when you take a leap of faith,you will fly or have a hell of a great crash story if you fall flat:)Too many people live "lives of quiet desperation" and I think your Grammy IS a "star!" I am grateful you have her:)Dior makes the best reds that smell like roses and wedding cake,send her the best because you and she both deserve it!
Dreams changes, and so do recognizing why certain dreams are not worth pursuing -- either by knowing where your strengths/weaknesses lie, and whether the sacrifices are worth your while.
great article, love it
If I had any "flighty" career dreams, my mother would have squashed them I'm sure, LOL. ... Yes, the guy is right in that, of course, we all end up dead. But he's got a weird take on it! Not everyone's life is a tragedy.
I gave up on my dreams to fulfill my children's.
I really must check out Downtown Abbey, I keep hearing the raves. I think I love your Gram! Honestly, I feel like my parents/family really never tried to hold me back, they always encouraged me in whatever endeavor that i wanted to try and for that I'm forever grateful. if I was held back then it was my own doing but at this point in my life, i really don't feel like i'm missing out. I'm glad to know you have your Gram in your life, everyone needs a champion, you are very blessed!
I tend to strive to make my parents happy, but I am chasing my dream in the world of arts. ;)
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Growing up I would always do the practical thing, luckily my major goals in life was all stuff I stuck by but I was always the goody two shoe who used to help clean up, never break curfew, and always get good grades...then I got to college :D
Great post, Meg!
I love Downtown Abby! My grandma isn't quite like yours, but she sure sounds like Mom does sometimes!!
I love Downton Abbey, too! I missed the first couple of episodes of the 2nd season, so I will definitely check them out on PBS website.
My dreams change with the direction of my life. Going with the flow, it's called :)
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I never gave up my dreams: have a life full of hapiness, study, and be free. I think every day we grow up, our dreams change. In France, we say: "Il n'y a que les cons qui ne changent pas", and I totally agree with this!
Awe, thanks for this post Meg. I just lost my Grandmother a few weeks ago and it's been pretty rough. I grew up next door to her so she was always in my life and I miss her tons but I feel lucky to have been so close with her. I'm glad you have a great relationship with your Grandma, she sounds very interesting - and if that's her picture, then also absolutely gorgeous! Right now I am not living my dreams. I got sidetracked after college and took a job I've kind of been stuck at and don't really enjoy. I have been holding myself back but I'm in the process of changing that. This summer I am leaving everything and moving from Green Bay, WI to Denver, CO to hopefully find a better job where I can do what I love - pretty much be creative! I crave change and new experiences and where I live, although very nice to raise a family, is a bit boring for someone my age. It's going to be hard leaving my family, friends, and comfort zone but I know it'll be worth it! If it doesn't work out, I can always come back and be a stronger person for at least trying. As for red lipstick, Youngblood Minerals makes a gorgeous blue based red called Kranberry, it's really flattering on cool complexions.
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I started watching Downton Abbey (for the longest time, I kept thinking it was Downtown Abbey!) and I am hooked! I really need to watch more episodes of the show!
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I just became a Grandma! I do hope I can impact on my grandson's life. I am a former punk rocker now turnec happy Buddhist practioner and I have to say, the only thing i gave up was to quit my performing as my girls became teens so that they could be the "cool ones" I think that's very important for mothers and daughters. I'm glad I did, because I got more involved in the Dharma and am a better person for it. And now my grown daughters think I a great mom & grndma--what more could I want? Except a mebbe perfect red lipstick....
I agree that dreams change as your life changes! I just returned from a one-month long trip around Asia so I'm happy to say that some of my dreams are being fulfilled. Iceland is next on my list of dreams; I don't know when I can accomplish that one since it's not going to be a cheap trip!
Meg I love reading your posts that have your personal thoughts and reflections; thank you for sharing it with us!
loved reading this meg!
Practicality has killed a lot of my dreams. Right now, I'm working a job I don't exactly love but it.pays the bills. Id love to do something in interior design or cosmetology. Unfortunately neither of those things are an option for me. I went to school for my parents, wish I wouldn't have or went for something different, but such is life. I think now my biggest dream is to move and buy a house a rennovate it within the next couple.of.years. I'd also like to travel more. And your grandma sounds fabulous, so I'd hook her up with some chanel or guerlain. I always love buying my grandma new cosmetics or perfumes. She appreciates it so much!
I'm always practical and pragmatic and I do my best to teach that to my children.
Would love to try it!
what a beauty!! I think as long as you are true to yourself no one can squash your spirit- the trick it to let go and be happy.. not always an easy thing..
I'm not the type that has a vision for how I expect my life to play out. NEVER. I just go with the flow. I never expected to get married (met way too many loser men), but did get married to the awesomest guy 4 years ago. Never thought I'd have a baby (terrified), but had one last year. I find that if I try to plan things out I end up being disappointed when things don't go the way I want them to, so I go with the flow. :)
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Your Gram sounds awesome. Espcially love imagining her climbing out the window in her younger days. LOL! Too funny.
Love Downton Abbey!!! Great post, thanks Meg!!!
Gracie
haven't seen downtown abbey yet, but hopefully soon.
Thanks for the inspiring story! My mother also had a dream - to become a doctor - but was convinced by her parents to become an engineer instead. Although I wonder how she would have turned out if she had become a doctor (she hates every day of her job), she would have never met my father if she hadn't taken the engineering courses!
xoxo
Wow, that guy was kinda a downer. I'd recommend a lip butter. There's a couple red ones that give good color without being crazy.
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love the picture