Stop The Spam!
First of all, I don't have a penis. I get so many emails a day and half of them are for cures to fix my erectile disease or to be "stronger, faster and harder in bed". I don't want viagra or cialis. I don't want a penis pump or a cure to end early release. I'm married, early release seems less time consuming.
I am a Republican. Always have been always will be. I'm into the whole "less government" aspect. It's not popular in LA to be a Republican. It's more popular to be a Scientologist. I don't care. Think what you think-great! Let me have my views and please stop trying to recruit me to either Obama or Hilary. It's not going to happen-stop filling my inbox.
Then there are the wonderful Meg's readers that take the time to write me about their problems or issues. I don't mind these emails at all. I am happy to help. If my opinion actually means enough that you're going to unload your burden on me then do so. I really want to help. I just want everyone to know that I 1) Have no college degree. 2) Am a bit of a mess myself, it's blind leading the blind here. 3) Start cocktail hour at 6pm LA time, chances are I'm more then half in the bag while doling out my genius advice. So buyer beware.
Then there are the dear friends (assholes really) that wish you magic and love and harmony and cheer. You read the entire bit about how much they love and care for you. Not that much though. You have to fwd their message to 15 friends and your wish will come true. Is it wrong to wish the person that sent me this gets the clap?
There's my 2 cents. I'm off to buy a penis pump. As a holiday gift for my mailman.
The image is a sick joke. I have 3 dogs. I live for them. No matter how much crap comes through the inbox they still want their treats. I love them. It just shows how desperate I am to get relevant messages!
From within bottles, jars, compacts and tubes.*